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Conan the Destroyer

Conan the Destroyer

List Price: $19.98
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Sucks
Review: Conan 1 was goodbut everything else fell apart in Destroyer.Arnold was in it,Basil Poledouris did the music but it still sucked.I normally like Poledouris's music and Arnold's movies escept Kindergarten Cop and Junior.But This was just stupid.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: best
Review: bes

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Just plain dumb this time out
Review: Conan the Barbarian was goofy, clanky and full of raunchy sex. In other words, it worked. This one is just lame. I'm sure that someone thought that bringing in Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain would only up the camp factor, but they are both so lifeless and boring that the plan backfired. Better to watch the unintentionally hilarious performance from Sarah Douglass as some sort of evil sorceress/queen--now that's funny. Not funny enough, though. Grade-Z special effects, ham-fisted plotting and lame jazzercise-type fight sequences keep this thing from delivering on any level.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Worth watching
Review: Barbarian was a better film, a feast for the eyes, great acting etc, but Destroyer is more humorous and is worth watching for the Princess alone! A bit corny especially in the Wizard scene but all in all a good fantasy film

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: This is the "The Quickening" of the fantasy world!
Review: This movie was an unfortunate mishap. Though it is still more amusing to watch than most movies you see on "Movies for guys who like movies" or "Joe Bob Brigg's Drive-In Theater," someone definately wasn't paying attention when this movie was made. Instead, check out CONAN the Barbarian!!! Now THAT is an outstanding movie!

Mitigating Factor: Arnold! Duh!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Epic story of magic and brawn
Review: A film full of swords, magic, and excitement. Truly one of the best fantasy movies I have ever seen. The story line and plot are great and the special effects and sword play get my adrenalin pumping. This is truly a film worth of the the title: Conan.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Quirky casting decisions quickly sink this "Conan" sequel
Review: The 1982 film "Conan the Barbarian" is the film that gets the credit (or blame) for turning Arnold Schwarzenegger into a movie star, but it should be remembered more as the best Sword & Sorcery film produced to date. The main reasons, besides Schwarzenegger cutting an imposing figure as Conan, flexing his muscles and swinging his big sword, was that director John Milius treated the characters seriously and avoided descending into camp. But for the 1984 sequel "Conan the Destroyer," the key factor seemed to be coming up with casting in a similar vein to the logic that had landed Arnold the role.

The story of "Conan the Destroyer" was by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, a pair of writers for Marvel Comics. Thomas was the writer for Marvel's "Conan the Barbarian," often adapating Robert E. Howard's stories, whether they were originally Conan stories or not. The story is a basic quest story where Conan escorts a virgin princess to bring back a powerful gem from a crystal palace, which will then be returned to a queen (Sarah Douglas), who turns out to be evil and wants to sacrifice the princess so the gem can used to summon an ancient demon, at which point wackiness will ensue.

The problem is not in the story, which certainly allows you to string together a series of Sword & Sorcery adventures, but in the casting. The princess is played by Olivia d'Abo, who simply looks too young (i.e., Conan was forever leaving pregnant princesses behind in his various adventures but there is not chance for that sort of chemistry here). Her body guard, Bombaata, is played by basketball Hall of Famer, Wilt Chamberlain, while Zula, the warrior woman who joins the group is played by Grace Jones, the singer/dancer/model/crazy woman. Comic relif, which was relatively absent in the orignal film, is provided by Tracey Walter as Malak. With such casting the descent into camp becomes inevitable. Besides, there is nothing in this film even close to rivaling Arnold's best moments in the original (especially since the final shot of the old King Conan is recycled from the first film).

Those who have actually read the originally Conan stories will also find it rather distressing that Toth-Amon, the great Stygian wizard who was Conan's biggest enemy in the Howard stories, is reduced to a pit stop on this quest (I remember thinking at the time that this was the equivalent of Darth Vader being one of the guys that got dispatched at the Cantina in "Star Wars"). Thomas and Conway were upset by Stanley Mann's final screenplay, as well as the finished film, and ended up turning their story into the graphic novel "Conan and the Horn of Azoth," with art by Mike Docherty (all the names got changed to avoid any confusion).

Ultimately, "Conan the Destroyer" gets three stars because we round down simply to make sure that it is clear that "Conan the Barbarian" was a better movie. Besides, this 1984 film pretty much killed the franchise, although Milius is apparently preparing a 2005 film "King Conan: Crown of Iron," which there being a lot of speculation as to who will play Conan now that Arnold is Governor of Cal-e-fornia (the hot names are apparently all wrestlers).

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: A fairly enjoyable adventure movie!
Review: I must say that many of my fellow reviewers here has been quite harsh on this movie.
For one; I don't understand when people say that they're disappointed with this movie? It's not Lord of the Rings, true, but it never pretends to be anything else than what it is... which is a fun adventure movie that's been made for entertainment.
The first movie (Conan: The Barbarian) was fun, but a little too cheesy at times, but the sequal is alot more fun to watch; mainly because of my personal hero: Grace Jones.
Come on... I recall a reviewer asking why she's describes as androgynous; I tell you why.
First off, Grace changed her disco-diva image in 1980 from which three of the best albums of the eighties followed (Warm Leatherette 1980), (Nightclubbing 1981) and (Living My Life 1982).
Remember her One-Man Show? It was fantastic, Grace performed with outrageous outfits and often poked at the legend of "The Demolition Man" in which she so rudelessly said: You kept on coming, you should have ran. I'm nobodys friend I'm a Demolition Man.
The whole "Grace Jones legend" is worth a mention. Conan: The Destroyer was her first major movie and she was chosen simply because of her amazing physique and muscular body.
That being said; Arnold really manages to grab the role by the throat; the main problem of the first movie was Arnold's pathetic attempt at being serious... let's face it, he failed.
The story is adequate and it certainly managed to keep me watching, Mako is also another highlight of the movie. Remember the crazy-hazed Sensei in Sidekicks? Yeah that's right it's him.
Stick the poke at the tinman and stop being so damn rightgeous.
Conan: The Destroyer is a fairly good adventure film that never pretends to be anything else than what it is.


Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Sword and the Toad
Review: This is an absurd and hastily made sequel to the far superior Conan the Barbarian. Swartz is back as the big hulking paleoanthropic warrior who has more muscle than brains. This time around the landscape looks like something out of a cheap fantasy movie and nothing ever clicks or feels like the original. The difference with this is that the first film had a believability to it and this one just oozes out vacuous emptiness. The plot concerns a princess who must fight an evil sorceress. . . not much there to begin with. Along the line there are more absurd characters including Grace Jones who resembles a twig and beats men 8 times her size with a stick. Chamberlain is even more lackluster as a personal guard to the spoiled princess who has special powers to defeat darkness. Look for the awful 'non-moving face' monster in the hall of mirrors that is about as scary as a dead fish. Even as a kid I hated this movie.



Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Great
Review: I always loved this one because i saw this one before barbarin but i love both of the movies they are great but i think i just like this one a little bit better thant he first because its more adventurous more fighting and good special affects my whole family loves this movie so i think its a good movie!


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