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Summary: This Book Revoloutionized My Life!
Review: I read this book three years ago and believe me it has changed my life! Even if you only choose to adopt one quarter of the suggestions in this book with how to literlly be and feel less desperate and needy (you know the old adage if you want to feel a certain way then act a certain way, even if you dont' feel it a first, because eventually you will). The bottom line is this; men aren't stupid so don't you be! If he's in love he's in love then he will move heaven and earth to make you his bride. No excuses. Unfortuanly there are many men who are predators, ("emotional-vampires", etc.) who like to prey on a woman's intense desire for marriage and a family which leads her to give seductivly and over-give emotionally. Let The Rules teach you how to use the 'acid-test' to see when a man is in love and when he is not period. Discernment and self-honesty rather than manipulation, as many critics have ascribed to this book, are what you really have to gain. Besides, in the end it's just information, and I say read all you can and learn all you can; don't ever be afraid of information. Ultimatly you will have to discern for yourself as a creature with free will where you choose to put your faith. This is something only you will know, so my recommendation is this. Read the book without pre-concieved negative judgments and then contemplate thoughtfully and honestly what the implications are while resisting the urge to jump on the band wagon of negetivity. Not only do the principles appy to men but to jobs and friends as well. I got out of a highly toxic friendship and a dead-end job; in both situations I was able to apply the principles in this book and discern that I was truly not valued. Consequently, three years later, I have a fantastic job where my salary has doubled and just last week my boss said to me "I consider you to be one of the most valuable assets this company has" and to back it up she handed be two one hundred dollor bills! My old best-frindship fell by the wayside when, I of course, didn't pick up her slack. Two months later I formed a frinedship with a woman through The Rules Support Group and she is truly a friend for life! I am actually a better person for knowing her, we laugh and joke and we have comraderie. And since we both accept the nature of 'true-love' where a men and women are concerned we never find ourselvs in competition over a man. After all he will like who he likes, period. So give the book and yourself a chance! Try it you might like it! If not then it's not for you but don't make jugments about it because it has genuially helped many people, myself being among them. Do I manipulate men, well no more so than I did by over-giving to get them to love me. If you are honest you may find that doing the opposite of the rules is just another form of manipulation. If you knew from the onset that a particular man who you liked would never,no matter how avaliable you made yourself to him or how much you gave seductively, fall in love with you and marry you; would you still go through it? The answer might shock you. If your not in it just "for the moment" and you are secretly hoping in the back of your mind for marrige, well then, that sure starts to look like manipulation! Think of it this way, before, you may have over-given to make him love you. With The Rules you under-give, just a bit, to see if he in fact does love you. It's manipulative either way. But remember what I said about not being afraind of information? Manipulation is just a word and it does not have to have an inherently negative connotation; unless you attach one to it. There are pleanty of men out there with bruised self-eteem and resentment issues aimed at women who tried to play like she was just 'one of the boys'; just having sex or over-giving emotionally or spending inordiante amounts of time just for 'the fun of it' only to tender a bill for services rendered in the form of a commitment from a man. Men hate this! This is called tricking a man into marrige! Men respond angrily and rightly so when we present them with this ultimatium and/or try to 'guilt' them into a commitment/relationship.
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Summary: Dating IS a game, help yourself out and learn THE RULES
Review: This book excellent. All men use games on women, of one sort or another. If you have finally figured this out, this book can give you some of your own tricks, effectively becoming the 'winner' in the game. The main message of this book is to not set up a relationship based on the man's convenience, but rather, your own. A common criticism of this book is that it is mean to men. Bless your nurturing heart, but if you are the kind of woman who thinks it's 'mean' or 'dishonest' to use mind games on guys, unknowingly you are probably also the stereo-typical clingy woman who men collect antics about which they then later tell to their male friends and laugh long and hard about (after we exchanged numbers, she left EIGHT messags on my machine!). This books teaches you how to stop being that clingy woman who gives her heart up only to have it trampled. It says, 'GET SOME SELF-RESPECT, WOMAN'. Don't make life so easy for men. They are big boys, and they can take the abuse. Sure, guys will say they hate seeing women read this book. That is, unless it is their little sister reading it. Also, this book does advise a sort of 'waiting' for the guy to perform his circus-acts and not lifting a finger to help him out. For some reason the idea that you should make a man work for your affection makes many people angry. These people claim such behaviour sets back the feminist movement. I tend to believe the people who say this are just so amazingly co-dependent they can't stand the idea of waiting for a guy to prove himself, and don't want their tactic of 'mow-him-down-with- your-enthusiasum-from-the-get-go' tampered with. This book does get rediculous at times, saying if you have followed the rules during the courting stage, that your marriage will be absolutely perfect. Overall, it's a book infused with humor, just a pleasureable read, and I see such seemigly rediculous moments as the book poking fun at itself, and its 'self-help' genre. Anyone who takes such comments seriously is missing the point. As the book itself advises, use common sense in tandem with it. Any angry, bitter reaction you've heard to this book was evoked by the fact that it is ALL TRUE.
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Summary: Getting what you want may not get you what you want
Review: A friend of mine used "The Rules" when she was dating the man who became her husband. It really worked! They got married! Then, less than four months after they were married, she told me that they didn't have anything to say to each other. She's in a dull and lifeless marriage. She's already prompted him to tell her about all the things that interest him while they were dating, and now she's run out of topics. He's still interested in himself, and he's never been interested in learning more about her. She was so single-mindedly focused on following the rules and snaring her man that she never noticed that they'd failed to develop any sort of mutual relationship. She followed the rules and she won the prize she sought. Or did she? You know what they say: be careful what you ask for...
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Summary: If you want to be sure a man loses interest-follow The Rules
Review: The authors of "The Rules" don't seem to realize how quickly a man can lose interest in a woman that appears generally indifferent and unresponsive. Men also can tell when they are being manipulated, which is a big turn off. Men prefer directness in their dealings generally, and hate it when they sense someone is not being forthcoming (whether it is a man or woman they are dealing with). Your best bet, ladies, is to show you have respect for yourself and confidence. Women with these attributes get men anyway and don't have to read caddy books like this. Geniune self-respect and confidence are the most attractive to a man. These things manifest themselves in things like attention to details of appearance (hair, nails, clothing, physical fitness etc.) and a positive attitude (lack of desperation, optimism that men are good guys until they prove otherwise, lack of a 'victim' mentality etc.). The Rules tell you that you have to consciously manipulate a man into digging you. Believe me, women that take a carefree, positive, easy-going attitude instead of a desperate, coniving one will always win out. Do you really think that starting a relationship by being kiniving and manipulative is the way to go? Maybe that's why the author's marriage failed so miserably.
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Summary: STEP INTO 2001
Review: I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING. WERE MY EYES DECEIVING ME? A VERY INDEPENDENT FRIEND SAID I MUST READ THIS BOOK, ONE OF THE BEST SHE'S EVER READ, WILL DO WONDERS FOR MY MARRIAGE. I READ UNTIL I COULD READ NO MORE. THIS BOOK APPEARED TO HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY A PERSON WHO BELIEVES WOMEN SHOULD BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT,ETC. HIGHLY DISAPPOINTED. ESPECIALLY TODAY. WITH ALL WE'VE FOUGHT FOR AND AS FAR AS WE'VE COME. MIGHT AS WELL BE READING THE LEAVE IT TO BEAVER LIFE STORY. TERRIBLE BOOK. WON'T EVEN PASS IT ONTO A FRIEND. WILL GIVE IT TO A USED BOOK STORE AND BE DONE WITH IT. DISAPPOINTED IN HAWAII
Rating: 
Summary: I think it's worth the try
Review: Alright so, after reading some 60 reviews I decided to buy this book and see for myself what everyone was talking about. I am astonished because it's the advice I've heard from my mother and grandmother since ever. I'm halfway through the book and so far it has impressed me because it's true! Why do guys I reject keep calling and calling for YEARS? Because they see you as a challenge! The book doesn't tell you to be rude or totally ignore men, it just tells you you must love yourself and feel like you're a queen.. eventually a man YOU WANT AND LOVE will treat you like one. I just ended a 3 year relationship that left me more than hurt and I am starting to believe it was because I broke almost all of the rules and gave too much of myself, etc. This is, I let him use me as a doormat, did absolutely anything for him and did he appreciate it? NO!. He took me for granted and left me for someone a little bit harder to get. However, I would add something to the book, I think this is for the early stages of dating and my complimentary advice would be to open up little by little until you're sure that the man you're with is the right one, after all, all you want to is be yourself with the one you love and I think you can do that following "the rules" too. However, the three stars are because I haven't put them to practice yet, in paper they sound good but we'd have to try. I suggest you give it a chance even if you're ultra-feminist... who knows if a change in your dating habits can get you mr. Right.
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Summary: Following the rules...
Review: I read this book. I wish I'd read it as a high-school girl swooning over "fine" boys. Instead, I now have to break all of the old, bad habits I have unfortunately developed when it comes to men. I believe these strategies and tactics will work... eventually... one day. Maybe. I'm willing to try because it beats the old days of feeling hurt by jerky men.
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Summary: Post feminism just took a nose dive...
Review: When I first heard about this book on a web page I thought, "No, this cannot be true. There is no way any self respecting publisher would let this garbage get through." Then reality hit me like a ton of bricks in the face. There is a reason why one of these women got divorced. I have one thing to say to the authors of this book: How dare you? How dare you tell millions of women who are already insecure in how they look, how they act, and how they think that they are bad, they are somehow wrong for the way they behave? Just because they aren't obsessed with the way they look and how they dress are they somehow less female then any of the self proclaimed "Rules Girls"? Here's a news flash, if you show any male a copy of "The Rules" and ask him his opinion he'll laugh in your face. Many of my friends are guys, and guess what they normally say when I bring up "The Rules." It's nothing good, let's leave it at that. This is the first book that, in order to mock it, I didn't even have to show the doctrines in a bad light. Mearly mentioning them they sound ridiculous and unrealistic. Even on the official "Rules" web page, you start wondering if it's possibly a spoof site. Advice like, "don't accept a date after Wednesday" or "never call him first" make for some interesting dinner conversation with any man. Here's a news flash for the authors, women don't go to college to get their MRS anymore. This book is just one elaborate attempt for Fein and Schneider to feign some sort of rational thought. This book should be called "Tips for Becoming a Trophy Wife" or "Ha Ha We're Making Money off of All of You're Insecurities Before our Token Husbands Leave Us!" which, honestly, is what it really is. There were all sorts of movements in the 60's and 70's so women wouldn't HAVE to do this anymore. The book is like something out of I Love Lucy or Happy Days, and I don't mean that in a good way! I wouldn't recomend this book even to an Iraqi woman in the 50's!
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Summary: I'll pass my copy to my daughter...
Review: This is a book that you'll either love or hate. However, all the facts in the books are very true. If you cannot agree with them, my guess is you either don't have enough experience with men or you don't want to face the reality. Anyway, let me tell you my story. I read "The Rules" 3 years ago, just couple months before I met my Mr. Right. Although it was very tempting to break the rules, I tried my best to practice them on him. And exactly 1 year after we met, he proposed. I am so glad that I've found this book and thanks to the authors, I'm now happily married!! I have bought "the rules" for all my girlfriends and I am keeping my copy for my daughter...
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Summary: An Affront to Intelligence and Individuality
Review: This book shows little respect for the intellect and individuality of either gender. It IS everything the authors try to claim it is not - manipulation, game-playing, cruelty, being inconsiderate, ad infinitum. The book advises (and repetitively reminds) women that they are "a creature unlike any other" even if they are marriage-obsessed couch potatoes desperate to find a husband and produce offspring. If you're sitting watching TV Friday night, don't turn the answering machine off to make men think you have a life - DO something! Go dancing, paint a picture, anything! While witholding information and being elusive may make you *appear* more elusive on the basis of the scarcity principle and may intensify feelings, they WON'T make him fall in love with the "real you". If there's so little of interest about you that you feel the need to resort to the authors' variety of manipulation, ignore their advice, spend some time on self-development, and become more interesting by learning and doing things. A rusted-out '78 Caprice is still a rusted-out '78 Caprice no matter how much body putty and fresh paint you put on it. Not returning a man's calls, limiting phone time to ten minutes, never meeting him halfway, training him to call early in the week... PLEASE! These *are* inconsiderate and manipulative. The goal of a Rules Girl is to avoid getting hurt emotionally - sure, because she's creating emotional stress by creating hoops for a man to jump through. News flash- if you love someone you DON'T try to make their life difficult. Amusingly, the authors justify such double standards by saying you're not cruel, you're doing him a "favor" by creating longing (as opposed to not wasting his time and letting him find a woman he actually connects with instead of one trying to reel a man in?), that if he's ANGRY it's GOOD because it shows interest (maybe it means you're making his life [bad]?). Need I go on? Then they go so far as to say NOT to read books that disagree or tell your therapist because then you might not follow through with The Rules. (with a Capital R, like "God" vs "god" for added authority!) Afraid your silly little book won't stand up to rational scrutiny? Very dogmatic; apparently the authors are FAR more intelligent than any of their readers, who must follow, lamb-like, if they're ever to enjoy happiness in life. Excellent use of commitment and consistency; commit to something, decide it's what you believe, close your mind to all else, and you WILL be more likely to live it - but if you have at least two active brain cells, is this REALLY how you want to live? The book also COMPLETELY fails to take personality types into account. It's written for the stereotypical ESFJ woman (the 1950's stereotype in search of the house, white picket fence, etc) and stereotypical ESTJ (or ESTP if she "trains" him well enough) man. Intuitive types, especially perceiving ones, and introverted males will take offense at the tactics described. I personally wouldn't waste my time with a woman who pulled the stunts described in this book. Communication, understanding, and a shared vision are much more important than stupid, coquettish games. If you want to snag a hubby quickly but aren't concerned about true quality, this book may help - though many men would rather you told them about your wedding-obsession up front and scared them off. (The book also treats wedding-obsession, fantasizing about it, planning it, naming the kids, etc as if they were NORMAL, HEALTHY behaviors!!!!) Scary. Very scary. If you're male, go ahead and read this book for entertainment; you'll laugh at how ridiculous most of it is and learn to spot and avoid "Rules Girls". If you're female - don't corrupt your mind with it, or at least think critically and take its advice with a VERY large grain of salt.
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