Rating:  Summary: Men Do Not Like These Rules Review: Imagine for one moment that a man does this to you: He doesn't return your phone calls, he acts aloof when you are trying to get his attention, he doesn't talk much during the date, he seems disinterested in you while on the date and he lets you do all the talking. How would all that make you feel??? So why would you do that to him?! Men do not like these rules, for good reason. They want and likes women to show their interest in them. Your interest makes them feel attractive and wanted. They have been saying that for years. All the things men like from you cannot be found in these rules. The only thing I liked about this book is that it tells you not to jump into a relationship so fast, and especially not to jump into the sack with him so fast. Other than that, there's nothing here that men will agree on. What they want and like from you is what counts, not what other women think they want. Here's one thing these authors haven't thought of: Many men are like children, wanting that toy. The more it is denied him, the more he will want it. The same with women. The more you play hard to get, the more he will want you, but it doesn't necessarily mean he wants that serious relationship. He just wants you because he can't have you. What's going to happen if he does get you? What does a child do with a toy after playing with it for so long? That's right Crude analogy? Yes. But that's the way many men are. The Rules gives advice that will backfire in your face. Read the Real Rules, by Barbara DeAngelis instead. That's what wil work with men. Perry Rose Author of I Love You...Will You Marry Me?!
Rating:  Summary: Millennium Reality Review: Contrast the Rules with Nita Tucker's How Not to Stay Single, which I find a much wiser book. Ms. Tucker writes in the chapter about rejection, "If they're not interested, they won't tell you directly. They'll tell you the same way you tell other people -- by not making time." By her book, the Rules are actually polite rejections! So are the Rules really wise screening-in, or foolish screen-out? Put it this way, if the man who wants to date you is confident, competent, loving, romantic, other women would like him, too. He might not get to the 4th phonecall before moving on towards someone who does show interest and return calls.
Rating:  Summary: Hypocrisy? Nonsense! Review: I have been happily married for 25 years. I recently read "The Rules" and was amazed, first because these ideas, which are just common sense, are new to anybody, and second, because this book has caused so much controversy....
Rating:  Summary: A fine bargain Review: Millions of single women who have made this book an international bestseller have one ambition in common - not only they want to be married, but married well. Of course, wealth is a relative term; however, it would be reasonable to assume that a man who can afford a 'lavish' treatment for his lady is ...loaded. A man like that is probably a professional of some kind, has worked very hard to get where he is and appreciates a woman who presents him with no emotional or personal problems but always looks good in bikini. All he has to do is to spend a lot of money on her - which is not difficult since he has it, and that buys her compliance. The 'fembots' like this do exist, and they do enjoy their good fortune ( for a while - ditto miss Fein's divorce). What man would not marry somebody who makes it her 'job' to keep him, never allows herself to relax and always takes a defensive position? This is not a relashionship, this is a war and ... you are sleeping with your enemy! The 'happiness' bought with submission is a fine bargain if you are willing to pay the costs. But is this woman - you?
Rating:  Summary: Old-fashioned, commonsense advise Review: There's a lot of conflicting advice here about this book, so let me start off by saying this: There is some silly stuff in here, but it's worth slogging through the bits about "Use an egg timer to limit your phone calls" and "Rules girls never get divorces" to get to the good stuff. (And my condolences to Ellen Fein about her divorce. She is a truly nice and knowledgeable woman.) The authors concentrate on the principle that men like to pursue women, rather than be pursued. Sure, guys are -flattered- to be pursued, but they often don't value what comes to them too easily. This is the basis for the rest of the book: Don't chase after men, don't call them, don't sleep with them too quickly, etc. Basically, this is the sort of advice your grandma would give you. It doesn't involve mindgames or any sort of manipulation. The authors never encourage you to lie, just to remain mysterious and not tell a man your entire schedule or life story on the first date. The authors encourage you to fill up your life with things that keep you from obsessing about men -- going to the gym, joining clubs, volunteering, etc. Some people say they encourage you to fake confidence and independence, but I disagree. I think they only encourage you to fake it until you develop those qualities on your own. (I have found this absolutely happens -- like when you start feeling happier if you force yourself to smile.) I have found that when I follow the guidelines in the book, I end up in much happier and more secure relationships. They tend to attract men who are very chivalrous and somewhat old-fashioned. If that's not what you like, then this book may not be for you. They definitely weed out guys who don't make a lot of effort to be with you -- as well as the ones who are primarily interested in sex. In my current relationship, I have used "The Rules" consistently, with excellent results. My boyfriend -- who pursued me -- is sweet, thoughtful and gentlemanly. He calls me several times a week (I very rarely call him), and he always picks me up at my house for our dates. He loves taking me to dinner, movies, plays, festivals, etc. and always tells me how much he enjoys the chance to "be a gentleman" when we're together. If yu're considering buying this book, I recommend it. Even if you disagree with some of the advice here, there's still plenty of good stuff.
Rating:  Summary: Wow, I'm floored. Review: If you're like me, you constantly have guys all over you wanting to get to know you better. I found it very hard to weed out those that just wanted me because my pants fut tight -- that is, until I found this book. When I read it, a wonderful feeling came over me. It was so simple... never show a guy that you are interested, look into his eyes, or return calls. Reverse psychology! My life has been so much easier since reading this book. I'm a strict Rules girl now :) I haven't had a date in 2 years, but I know that's because all those guys just want my body and not my mind. I know that Mr. Right will jump through 1000 hoops to land a date with me, because he will do it because he loves me. I'll just keep on acting like I'm not interested and hide my true feelings to lure him in! LOL! Let's get real here. Ask yourself how you react to someone that shows no interest, or won't return calls. If you're sane, you move on and find someone who is interested. The best way to find someone is to be yourself. Follow your feelings, and use common-sense. Don't read this junk.
Rating:  Summary: a good guide...to keep women like these away from you Review: I'll have to say that this book was very handy in my dating life...however, not for the way the authors intended. When I notice that a potential partner starts acting according to The Rules (i.e. never returning calls; insisting on lavish treatment; "acting" confident or involved in something I'm interested in, yet knows nothing about it; etc.), I never call back. Ever. For example, on one occasion I saw a copy of "The Rules" in a date's domicile (I know I know, she broke a rule, but I was picking her up for a dinner date.) It hit me. She never returned messages (which I thought was rude) and acted rather aloof and "not herself." Because I was getting faked out, I faked a stomach cramp, went home, and never called her again. She kept calling my house for a while...thank goodness for Caller ID. She eventually gave up. She got to see how *we* like it. Perhaps I did her the greatest good to see how living by "the Law" cannot bring about the fruits of genuine "dating grace." Seriously, life is too short to waste on people that need to follow a presubscribed list of "rules and regulations" to have a relationship. Any healthy relationship is predicated on honesty, trust, a desire to "not go too quickly" or get hurt, &c. If you're feeling lonely, unfulfilled, and self-conscious, do something healthy for yourself. Workout. Read. Take a class. Join a group. Attend church. Do *SOMETHING* to increase your self-worth...THEN begin dating. This is a harder and longer path...but it's got a better success rate than simply faking it. Following two faux-therapists' half-truths isn't a proper surrogate.
Rating:  Summary: Common Sense??? Review: Isn't this book about common sense? What is so special about this? Why is Ellen Fein getting divorced? Her own book did not apply to her marriage?
Rating:  Summary: Not What It Seems Review: This book, like their advice is useless, unless you're a woman who can't think for herself. Maybe if Ellen Fein had spent more time working on her marriage instead of her publications, and practiced what she preaches (but obviously does not know of what she speaks) her marriage would still be in tact. On Oprah Winfrey's television show in 1996, Fein told a feminist critc whose first marriage had failed, that as a divorcee, she was in no position to pontificate. I guess that quote came back to bite her in the but.
Rating:  Summary: Worth a Read & Worth a Try Review: I'm a 35 y/o professional, never-married woman, and self-labeled feminist. At the behest of my best friend, who said I desperately needed to change my approach, I purchased and read this book. I admit I was skeptical, but it described me and my history to a T (everyone wonders why I'm not married; I hear all the time what a "great catch" I am and why any man would/should want me; I have more male friends than any woman I know; but the men I've truly loved have never returned my feelings--at least not to the degree I wanted). So I decided to give it a chance. The cut-to-the-chase, no-room-for-excuses style is short and to the point. The hard-hitting, nobody-said-it-would-be-easy advice makes practical sense in a way it never did before when it was clothed in the morality and taboo of my youth. I routinely work 50-60 hours per week, and I found time to read this book from cover to cover within 3 days. I am repenting my heretofore ineffective ways, and I am wholeheartedly committed to living my life as a "Rules Girl." Step One: "Be a Creature Unlike Any Other." So, before I step out on the dating circuit again, I'm redesigning myself to become the person I truly want to be. I'm cleaning up my act before I take it out on the road: Improving my diet, increasing my exercise, dropping some weight, cleaning up the clutter in my house and my life -- in short, taking care of Me. When I'm ready to get out there again, I'm going to follow "the Rules" to the letter and see what happens. I'm heartened and hopeful about my future in a way I haven't been in years. I recommend the book not for any results it may help me obtain in the relationship realm -- I haven't even had a date since I read it -- but for the changes it has caused me to demand of myself. With the sense of empowerment I feel now, I can't help but have good results in the long run...
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