Rating:  Summary: all that and humor too Review: I love this book. It is hilarious, provocative, self-critical, and full of genuine and true emotion. Fox doesn't leave any pieties untouched--not the ones foisted on mothers by this society and not the ones her own mind conjures up in response. Among other things, it is a book about sexism and love. Fox doesn't spare sexism and is often at her funniest and most original critiquing it. But there isn't any love spared in this book either. The readers who didn't like it seem to conclude that the author doesn't like being a mother (and therefore that there's something wrong with and/or scary about her). I don't see that at all. On the contrary, Fox is passionate about her kids and finds her relationships with them transcendent and redemptive--but in a real-life way, not in a mandatory or moral way. The book ends on a moment of joyous rough-and-tumble laughter between the author and her children. It's how she actually feels. In fact the whole book is like that: how one extremely perceptive, funny, complicated, generous, and bravely self-revealing and woman ACTUALLY FEELS. So for readers who can't deal with someone who sometimes feels distress, and sometimes delight, and sometimes other things, Dispatches could be troubling. For the rest of us, it is a gift. The book isn't just for or about mothers. I'm a single woman, childless, straight, in my late 30s, and likely to happily remain that way (with the exception, alas, of my age). I am very close with several mothers and also with some of their kids, and the book helped me understand those friends more deeply. But even more than that, I loved it as a memoir of self-definition--a memoir showing how hard and important it is to be true to who you are.
Rating:  Summary: Unflinching honesty Review: What I loved about this book was its unflinching honesty, about motherhood, "shared" parenting, and household management. I couldn't put it down, even in those sections where I didn't like what the author was saying, or doing. Time and again, I found myself relating to what Faulkner's comments about "Frequent Parenting Miles," household chores and how they suddenly, after motherhood, become the mother's nearly-sole responsibility, and about competitive mothering. This is a great book for a book group, because it is sure to spark intense, conflicted, and lively conversation.
Rating:  Summary: Best book on motherhood I've read Review: As a stay-at-home mother of three children, ages 4, 2, and 4 months, I found this book very helpful on many levels. Although the author is a self-described feminist, and I am not, I found many things in common with her story. The author focused on issues important to me, such as husband/wife childcare in the home (she called it "frequent parenting miles"), the need to make friends with other mothers, and in general, the difficulties mothers face internally while trying to incorporate their new role into their old life. I have read many books about motherhood in the last four years, but this one reached me at the most personal level. This book isn't just about how busy mothers are today, how we have to get our children to this appointment or that soccer game, it's about the changes that no one can describe until you actually become a mother. The author speaks frankly and honestly about the difficulties that life with children can impose on a marriage, career, and friends. But it also tells of how she personally overcame her difficulties. I highly recommend this book to any mother. It's easy to read, and I couldn't wait to read it each night after my kid's went to bed.
Rating:  Summary: Funny, Sharp and Thought-Provoking Review: Faulkner Fox has truly hit a nerve, and I'm thrilled! Fox's voice is smart and funny, and her talent as a writer can't be missed. I loved reading about boycotting Gymboree and all the other Mommy-and-Me stuff that feels like such an obligation when you're a new mother. The concept of Frequent Parenting Miles cracked me up, and I too lament the days when I could talk for hours with friends about everything and nothing so I could figure out who I was and what I cared about. Like Fox, I love my husband and I love being a mom, but I also like to think. Dispatches from a Not-So-Perfect Life reminded me that the thinking part of me is still intact, and that I'm not the only conflicted, though usually happy, woman in the world. Bravo!
Rating:  Summary: A bold new book on motherhoood and the survival of the self Review: As a feminist, Faulkner Fox questions why her experience of motherhood strays so far from her youthful fantasy of a woman happily immersed in her own life's work while The Man and The Child hover quietly in the background. Using her own examined life as a springboard, Fox methodically tears away at the cultural behemoth we call "motherhood" to expose her personal truth - a truth that will resonate with any woman who ever felt that being a mother was so much more complicated, and so much less satisfying than she had imagined. Although "Dispatches" tracks the author's personal course through pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting, it's not actually a book about motherhood. It's a deliberate and thoughtful record of the growth and development of a woman who is also a writer, wife and mother - a woman who refuses to allow her selfhood to wither like a neglected houseplant just because she's completely in love with her husband and children. Fox is wise to the nature and origins of cultural attitudes about middle-class motherhood and resents the toll that intensive ideology takes on women's individuality. She's self-possessed enough to want something that looks and feels completely different - an egalitarian marriage based on feminist values with fully-shared parenting - and human enough to succumb to variations of the cultural pressures she so stridently resists. Although "Dispatches from a Not-So-Perfect Life" stands out as a serious work about motherhood and feminism, it's never dry or dogmatic. On the other hand, Fox resists framing her intimate account of marriage, work and mother love as a spry retelling of the exasperating ups and downs of family life. This is a highly original, genuinely funny, sometimes outrageous and sometimes profoundly moving book, but there's an agenda. Fox wields her sharply-pointed wit so artfully the reader may not always be aware that her objective is to poke enough holes in the one-dimensional caricature of the selfless, stressed-out mom to free the warm-blooded woman who lives inside. Upstart mothers who yearn to tip over the sacred cow of motherhood -- and all other mothers, for that matter -- owe it to themselves to read this book.
Rating:  Summary: Tepid and Poorly Written Review: Unfortunately, the author comes across as though she were whining. There are real issues to explore here, however, her attempts to do so are unsuccessful. I also found her writing to be scattered. As a result, no momentum was built around any particular concern. The book came across as a bunch of minor complaints--from an extremely privileged woman. Other books in this genre that really hit the nail on the head include, Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions, and Mothers Who Think (an excellent collection of contemporary essays.) Also, the quarterly magazine, Brain Child, features consistently great writing on these issues.
Rating:  Summary: Thanks, Faulkner! Review: Faulkner, Thank you for your book and your honesty! I have mom-friends, but I have felt so lonely for the past 5 1/2 years because none of them are willing to talk about the truth. We're all sizing each other up and pretending everything is perfect at home. Now I know I'm not alone! I appreciate knowing that other bright women can love their children passionately but still be desperate for some outside mental stimulation alone. After reading this book, I feel like I have permission to be a mom my own way. I don't have to be in the super-mom competition with every other mommy we pass. If I can't stand Kindermusik, it's ok! I will look for anything else she writes in the future.
Rating:  Summary: A great book! Emotionally and Intellectually Satisfying Review: Ms. Fox makes remarkably important observations about womanhood and motherhood, but what sets book apart from other great books on this subject is her honest, personal and intimate tone. Ms. Fox conveys such warmth and humor that this book is not just intellectually satisfying, it is emotionally satisfying as well. While reading this book I was blown away by her revelations while at the same time marveling at what a great writer she was. She creates vivid images that stick with you, and has an incredible way of describing what it is to love a child. And the ending is just perfect - so sweet, so wonderful. Any woman who is feeling any kind of emotional void should read this book for an immediate fill-up.
Rating:  Summary: Thank you, Faulkner. Review: What a relief to read a book about motherhood that addresses the serious questions that having kids raises these days. Dispatches is worth buying for the material on equal parenting alone. Unlike many women, Fox was not conent to whine about not getting enough help from her husband -- she took it on and did something about it, negotiating a fair parenting deal that will undoubtedly benefit both her marriage and her kids for years to come. Fox asks the important questions that too often are overlooked. Is Gymboree really a good use of women power? Isn't something just a tad off when there are almost no fathers at the park or playground? This is a brave, important book. May Faulkner Fox write many more.
Rating:  Summary: Honest, but not helpful. Review: Fox definitely speaks some truths and I appreciate her honesty. However, I never really believed that she finally came to love the house, the man, or the child(ren). Also, if SHE is experiencing loss of self, imagine how mothers who work full-time, are the primary bread-winners, and then do 90% of the house and family work feel. That's what many, many of us do.
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