Rating: 
Summary: not worth the time
Review: Empowering? Words from a strong woman? Not on your life. Although I agree with some of the statements this author makes, serving the needs of others (i.e., children) must come first when you are a mother, I don't agree with her approach which seems to be incessant whining about what to do, how to do it, and how could things have been different. For God's sake if you are not happy about something then DO something to change it. Self-pity in the guise of self-examination is both non-productive and boring. This is not a book about the angst of being of mother, it is a book about one woman who is clearly depressed and paranoid and who should have been receiving help, whether it be through support or chemicals, a long time ago. Paranoia runs rampant through the text, jealousy of others who seem to have it together and general obsessive over-analysis of virtually everything in this author's life fill every page. Okay, you're angry that you had to got to the hospital for your child's birth and then you missed the first 10 minutes of holding him. We get it. We get it. This author is a sad and pathetic child who it appears did not willing come to the world of adults. I got this book on the recommendation of a magazine, filled with humor, they said, a must read for every new mother If there is any humor it's black, so black as to be pathological, not a book for new mother's on what having children does to your life. I'm afraid not a book for anyone.
Rating: 
Summary: Why should speaking the truth be so threatening?
Review: I'm perplexed by the viciousness of some of the reviews for this book. This is a fine, well-written exploration of one woman's experience. What is so threatening about being truthful about that? Motherhood is not always easy or joyous; in fact, it's not "always" anything for any woman. Kudos to Faulkner Fox for her bravery in telling it like it is. I am sure many women will be reassured by her honesty.
Rating:
Summary: I Bet Her Life Wasn't "Perfect" Before Either
Review: Whiny, shallow, melodramatic, defensive, and cliched, wrapped in a "hip" shawl of Northeastern liberal Ivied cool. It seems to come as a big shock to her that motherhood is life changing. Hello?
Rating:
Summary: Erma Bombeck, Where Are You?
Review: This book is the sort of pretentious tripe that will be reviewed seven-ways-to-Sunday by NPR, The New York Times, The Today Show, and other "cool" media outlets that "cool" well-educated people consume. For the rest of us, that is, those who aren't Harvard-educated "feminists," we just don't get it, dahling. But the joke, ultimately, is on the haughty know-it-alls. Middle-American, frowsy, dumpy writers like the late Erma Bombeck are the ones who laugh all the way to the bank because they know what the mass audience wants to read, and it ain't this, sistah! Ms. Fox will get her buzz, but the buyers at Costco and Sam's won't bite.
Rating: 
Summary: It's about time.
Review: I'm so glad that Faulkner Fox had the courage to write this book. And I guess she has done something right because it's my contention that the books people are most sharply divided about--like this one--tend to be books about things that really matter. "Dispatches" covers subjects which NEED to be talked about, but often aren't: ambivalence about having children and/or mothering (before or after you have); the myth of 'the perfect mother' and 'adorable children;' the fact that sometimes (oftentimes?) babies can be boring; the lopsided nature of our society that calls women to mother and then provides little or no support in terms of career options (e.g. job-sharing, adequate paid leave, REAL flextime), mothering services (e.g. such as post-natal in-home care), or recognition. As a early-30s married woman trying to decide--in some kind of clear-eyed manner--why people would actually WANT to have kids and whether I want to myself, Fox's book provided not only a lot of laughs (of recognition) along the way, but also a REAL picture of what I might expect. Perhaps surprizingly (to some other reviewers on this forum), I felt better about the whole deal AFTER reading her book because she doesn't try to put any kind of spin-job on what can often be a thankless task. I always prefer the truth to some kind of "You'll be fine!! Don't ask too many Qs. Don't think too much about it all. Don't question OUR decisions as being anything other than also right for you..." Fox's ways of dealing with the difficulties she experienced throughout her boys' earlier years spoke to me on a very personal level (e.g. engaging them on a verbal, intellectual level; giving up on trying to be 'perfect' and instead just being her) and made me think I (we!--my husband and I) might just be able to pull it off. I don't know of a better recommendation than that.
Rating:
Summary: My New Favorite Mama Book
Review: This book tells it like it is! An intelligent, honest, heartbreakingly funny story of motherhood in the new millennium. I totally identified with her experiences of
new motherhood, and her stories of negotiating her independent feminist self with her new role as mother and partner of a man. She doesn't pull any punches,
and talks about the hard stuff-- really illustrates the importance of living an examined life. I loved watching her come out on top at the end. She manages to deal
with complex social issues yet write in an extremely compelling personal voice. A courageous book. I couldn't put it down, definitely a must-read!
Rating:
Summary: Important book
Review: This book kept me riveted from the beginning to the end; I could easily empathize with her own experience of juggling the roles of mother and wife and writer and teacher. Dispatches from a Not-So-Perfect Life is a well-written book -- part memoir and part social commentary -- without ever being heavy-handed. Fox lets us in on her own adjustment to motherhood and parenthood, and with complete openness and honesty, questions much of her experience. She asks "Why?" when most of us moan, complain or simply accept the inequalities and difficulties of the job. I loved her descriptions and dialogues with other parents and friends, her laments of not finding like-minded mothers in the predominantly white, wealthy Mommy and Me classes offered where she lived. I found solace that someone as sleep-deprived as I was able to write a cohesive personal story without slapping on a pat ending and telling us just what it is that society needs to change to make inequalities in motherhood go away. The questions she asks should resonate with mothers in the U.S. and hopefully spark on-going discussions and dialogue. My friends and I are already talking about some of the themes and ideas brought forth in this excellent book and I look forward to more people discovering it.
Rating:
Summary: Sending Signals
Review: Dispatches is a book that should have a wider audience than parents. Fox, through her examination of her family and life, touches on issues as how we define and value ourselves and those around us. The book is funny, not so much laugh-out-loud funny but of a kind derived from recognizing our idiocyncratic personalities as part of a larger truth about human foibles and the messiness of life. Fox is inquisitive, and challenging of herself and others never settling for the status quo. If the messages of Dispatches sometimes fail to reach its intended audience it is partly because of the strong emotions and protective urges that it arouses. Nevertheless Dispatches is always thought provoking, as it focuses on the conflicting emotions of loving those around you while feeling alone and at a loss of self. All this and also snip-its of oddball types such as the "Rush"(the rock band)-loving Warlock float in and out of Fox's account making it hard to put down.
Rating:
Summary: Yuck
Review: Unpleasant, whining, self-centered, as funny as a migraine -- and this woman claims to be a writing teacher?
Rating:
Summary: Can I get a refund?
Review: I found this book to be tedious, bitter and cynical. I must have not received the edition with the humor in it that some of the other reviewers have seen. I find the author to be extremely self-congratulatory, judgmental and self-righteous about the choices she has made, despite her assertion that she does not know what's best for every mom. She looks down on the moms who do things like gymboree or take their kids to the park -- she assumes that all is done so cheerfully just because the moms aren't constantly complaining to one other about the inequity of it all. I'm in a mom's group and as we've gotten to know each other, we do talk about those things and some partnerships / marriages are more equal than others. THe bottom line is that she had options -- there's daycare, nannies, etc. There are any number of situations which could have delivered her from her so heavy burden. I do agree with the idea that motherhood can be lonely, isolating and hard on the self especially today. We weren't meant to raise kids on our own - we need the community of friends, playgroups, extended family, etc. Raising kids is not an equal proposition in most cases -- that is just the reality of it, but not always a culturally imposed reality, either. I think that she completely overstates the cultural pressure aspect of her situation -- most of the pressure she feels is self-generated, from what she assumes that other people or other moms are thinking, but she doesn't interact with enough of them to know whether her assumptions are indeed accurate. For some people, they probably are and for others, I'm sure they aren't. But who cares? As another reviewer said, don't go to Gymboree if you don't want to go. Find other things that will satisfy both you and what you think you want your children to be exposed to. I wouldn't go to Gymboree because I thought that my child needed to go to Gymboree specifically and because people would think I was a bad mom if I didn't take them -- I'd go for the simple reason that it's good for my kids to get out and be around other people and for me to have the opportunity to interact with other moms. Perhaps if thge author had been at the same place in her career as her husband when they had kids, all of her angst would have been for nought. She could have continued to work, felt justified in putting her kids in some kind of childcare, and not been depressed at home, feeling like a bad mom because she didn't like to go to the park with her kids. Motherhood can be lonely and isolating, but this is not the book that provides any kind of balm or real perspective on that unless you want to learn to keep score in your marriage about who's doing more to take care of the kids -- it doesn't suggest creative solutions to any of these issues -- just blame your husband, your kids, society, etc.
|
