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Summary: The sheer joy of another sharing my thoughts
Review: When I was younger, my life was going to resemble Brenda Star. I would fly to London for meetings, lunch in Italy and meet one of several admirers in the evening for a Broadway show and dinner at Tavern On the Green. With A Degree in Finance, An almost MBA and a Masters in Teaching, my life is flying down the highway to get to the daycare before it closes, lunch at my desk of Healthy Choice Frozen chicken, leaving sticky notes about milk and field trip monies on the coffee maker for the one man of 13 years, while falling asleep 1/2 way through a rented DvD after a dinner at Old Country Buffet with a our 4 boys 10, 5, 4 and 2. I say the following with a passion : I do not have time to waste on bad reading experiences and if someone told me I could read only one book this year but it might mean the socks and towels do not get folded before the morning.. then I would say sit down, drink your drink of choice and let the family find their own socks tomorrow, this is the one book you should read. Faulkner has expressed by exposing herself what I need to hear, its ok to love what I have, remember what I wanted and treasure with a secret smile what adventures I had before I was mom...Faulkner reminds me that I am still me and that is what makes me the (great) mom I am.
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Summary: Skillful Cultural Deconstruction of the "Motherhood" Concept
Review: Faulkner Fox's "Dispatches" provides great insight into many women's struggles to find themselves among diapers, husbands and their own calling, their own "selves". By describing her own struggle trying to figure out how and if the cultural and social norms that define "motherhood" pertain to her own life, she empowers all mothers to question the status quo, to dream of a different "ideal." Fox lets all mothers in on a well-kept secret, namely that the journey of motherhood is not always blissful, effortless, and enjoyable. Instead there are ups and downs, joy and frustrations and cultural and societal norms we are expected to adhere to. Watching Fox grapple with these issues is an important contribution to feminist literature. Fox is not only extremely insightful and intensely honest but she proves to have a good sense of humor as she is not afraid to poke fun at herself. I highly recommend this book!
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Summary: this book is the truth. faulkner fox is so smart.
Review: i loved this book. i am recommending it selectively though, because if someone i consider a good friend feels they can't relate to it, i will have to break up with them. there is so much to cherish in this book: i love the idea of making a pie chart of unhappiness. i love the mothers judging each other at the playground and at wholefoods. although the writing is very enjoyable, i think that i would not have liked this book so much as a mother of one. everything was easy for me then, and i would not have liked this vision of the truth about motherhood and feminism. but at this point i think it hits the nail on the head. also i must say that people who don't like this book probably wear pleated denim jeans and vests made from tapestry fabric: am i right?
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Summary: Bittersweet, but ultimately uplifting.
Review: I read Faulkner Fox's book for a book club, and I must admit that at first I thought "Dear God, not another book on parenting! Can't we give ourselves a break from that stuff?" After all, after four years of parenting alongside a wonderful and thoughtful husband and father, I must have read at least a hundred parenting books and he might have read one or two. However, once I read "Dispatches," not only did I not regret reading yet another parenting book, I felt like I had some insight into the societal patterns that lead to some mothers devouring parenting books while their partners fly by the seat of their pants. I did have one frustration with the book. In the narrative, Faulkner Fox jumped back and forth through time in such a way that I had trouble keeping her timeline straight. However, I acknowledge that since the book is conceptually organized rather than chronologically, this was not an inappropriate choice on her part. Reading "Dispatches" has led to some wonderfully productive and honest discussions between me and my husband. I would recommend it to any parent (of either gender) who feels burnt out on parenting manuals and wants a more confessional and less didactic memoir of being a mother.
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Summary: Room for every woman
Review: I am surprised by some of the negative reader reviews of this book. It is a very well written and funny book. I do understand that for some of us who wish everyday for the things that Ms. Fox seemingly got served on a silver platter (e.g. healthy children), it is hard to hear her 'complain.' I also understand that there are mother's out there who simply cannot allow Ms. Fox the space to share her own experience. If Ms. Fox is allowed the space, then maybe all mothers deserve the space? This leads to the question, "How can I keep my household running and still have time to cry about the things I know I should feel fortunate to have?" Let me assure you, there is room for every woman's story, even your own. This is not a story about "looking at gift horses," but instead a very personal journey that sheds light on the role of mother in modern day US culture.
In sum, if you read this book and you find yourself angry or defensive, please take a moment to ask yourself these questions:
1)Do I really know what irony is? Would I recognize it if I read it?
2)Have I been criticized before in my life for "doing" instead of "feeling."
3) Have I put enough thought into the phrase, "the personal is political?"
4)Does it somehow make me feel better to tell another woman to stop crying over perfectly good spilled milk? Would I think, "just clean it up and be grateful that you had the milk in the first place." Is this the kind of "life is hard" lesson I want to share with my own daughter?
5) And lastly, "Is it really just a coincidence that the vast majority of my mother friends made more drastic personal sacrifices and changes in career path than did their husbands?" Is it possible that, instead, this is indicative of a trend in US family culture? A trend that deserves more room for thought?
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Summary: Crucial read for nursing moms!
Review: During pregnancy, I read all the books you're "supposed" to -- but not even the famed "Girlfriends Guide" spoke as much truth as this book. Faulkner Fox is the first writer who made me feel that I wasn't crazy or misguided to despair over things like division-of-labor and sleep-as-commodity. Take breastfeeding, for example. I've nursed my son for nearly 10 months now. I was prepared for the natural beauty of nursing, the medical benefits of it, the inexpense and ease of it (no bottles to warm, no formula to buy). But no one mentioned the biggest thing (after all, it would be gauche to complain when a baby is such a tiny miracle, yes?): nursing necessarily results in a HUGELY skewed division of labor. My husband, like Fox's, is a wonderful man, an enlightened feminist -- but he can count on one hand the number of times he awoke at night those first months. Why should he, when I was the only one who could feed the child? Why should he be the one to stay home from work when I had to be here anyway, every three hours? I wish I'd encountered Faulkner Fox's book earlier; she's honest about the good parts and the bad. Having a child IS life-changing, and to the reader below who mocked Fox for not realizing how life-changing it would be, shame on you. We're ALL figuring this thing out little by little, and sharing our stories can only help. Thanks to Faulkner Fox for being brave enough to do just that.
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Summary: Felt Nothing but Relief Reading this Book...
Review: I loved this book. Reading it affirmed for me that I am not the only one out here struggling with conflicting emotions and anxiety regarding motherhood and the prescribed activities that go along with it. I found much of the book to be humorous, while other parts were quite poignant. I'm not quite sure I understand the comments of the reviewers who question why Faulkner Fox did not do something to alleviate her angst...she did. She wrote!
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Summary: Refreshing Break from How-To-Be-A-Mom Books
Review: Faulkner Fox's book "Dispatches" is a hilarious and poignant and painstakingly truthful guide to juggling everything during the transition from working full-time to deciding to become a Mom----and then becoming one! It tells women how to hold onto themselves during the entire gruelling process. It's about work, love, our families, loving our families and the difficulties and cultural pressures that abound. It covers changes in our female friendships and our priorities, handling moving to new cities, lots of issues women grapple with. It give Moms validation and hope! Great book!
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Summary: One mother's triumph
Review: This well-written book covers the personal troubles and triumphs of one woman's journey into motherhood. While her situation is easier than that of many other mothers, she clearly and forcefully covers what was difficult and rewarding for her. She helps us understand some of the pressures on mothers, even those who come from a stable two-parent household. Mothers, parents, and anyone who is interested in laughing and crying about the state of modern motherhood can benefit from this book.
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Summary: What Courage
Review: This is a wonderful book, smart and funny and honest. It takes a lot of courage to open up to the world about such personal matters, knowing that so many people are easily incited to vicious and thoughtless personal attacks. Many thanks to Faulkner Fox for sharing her life, angst and all. Thinking about motherhood doesn't make you a bad mother. Complaining about marriage doesn't make you a bad wife. Examining your world and voicing honest conflicts make you -- and, if you're a writer, your readers -- more healthy and fully realized individuals.
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