Rating: 
Summary: Keep circulating the books
Review: When Mystery Science Theater 3000 ended (a sore subject that I'm still far from ready to talk about), I couldn't help but worry about my buddy Mike Nelson (although I've never met him, I consider him a good friend, seeing as he plays a big part in many of my fondest memories from my 20s). Would he, like Joel Hodgson, put together a one-hour comedy show that even I, huge Joel fan that I am, found frighteningly lame, and then simply fall off the face of the earth? After ten years of writing and five years of acting for the show, would Mike's funny bone contain even a single additional drop of humor? Would he, in desperation, agree to star in the production of Crow T. Robot's blockbuster epic Earth vs Soup? I am quite happy to say that Michael J. Nelson is not only alive and well, he is as funny now as he was back in the halcyon days of Best Brains productions. With the dawning of a new millennium, Mike Nelson became no mere writer but a full-fledged author, and Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese became the first of (hopefully) many books espousing his unusual brand of comic philosophy and reviving the lost art of coaxing milk (or beer) through the noses of individuals who do not heed the warning I am giving you right now: do not attempt to drink or eat anything while reading something written by Mike Nelson; in fact, even breathing while reading Nelson can be dangerous, so just dive in and come up for a quick gulp of air as you turn each page.This book, in which Nelson propounds enthusiastically and, more often than not, acerbically at all manner of recent movies ostensibly a grade above the kind of fare he, Crow, and Tom were forced to endure while tripped on the Satellite of Love, is hilarious. I'm not talking about the occasional smirk and rare, embarrassed giggle type of hilarious; I mean laugh-out-loud, absurdly high on the guffaw meter, don't drink or eat while reading (there, you've been warned twice) funny. It's quite a treat to read Nelson's opinion of movies that many of us have actually paid to see within the environs of a sticky-floored, crying kid-attracting movie theatre. No one involved in movie-making is safe from Nelson's rapier wit, especially Adam Sandler, Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey, and the Baldwin clan. Beginning with action films such as The Shadow and the works of Jean-Claude Van Damme, Nelson tackles "Wild Thangs" such as Ed and Dragonheart, an eclectic selection of TV shows, "science friction," and less easily classifiable movies. He even, and you've got to admire the man's commitment and courage, endured several rounds of "chick flix" and lived to tell us more cowardly sort of men the insidious dangers posed by attractive females suggesting we watch a movie such as The Bridges of Madison County with them. On a roll, Nelson delves into the mystery of star-studded families and motion picture legends. He even reviews Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie. If humor were humidity, you would not be able to read this book because of significant water damage and the excessive bleeding of words on each page. In a sense, Nelson's humor is much like that of the good old days of MST3K, and this fan felt not only comfortable but right at home from the very start. His movie synopses are brilliantly funny and often over-the-top with completely foolish linkages to men and women of history as well as men and women Mike knows from his local barber shops and video stores. He goes off on absurdly funny, almost limitless tangents that leave one woozy from laughing. I should point out that Nelson's movie synopses may at times give away little spoilers for those who have not yet seen some of these movies, although it's sometimes hard to tell what is real and what Nelson is just making up. I was pretty surprised to discover that I had not seen most of the movies mentioned here, although they were all recognizable by name. I really don't think the occasional spoiler should bother anyone, though, because you will be too busy putting the book down in order to grab on to your sides in split-preventing maneuvers to care very much. If you still aren't convinced you should buy this book, let me point you to the author's photograph on the inside back cover featuring a perfectly smarmy-looking Mike Nelson sporting a reading jacket, pipe, and ascot; for me, this picture alone is worth the price of the book.
Rating: 
Summary: Read Mind Over Matters instead
Review: Mike's book "Mind Over Matters" is a book of hilariously-written essays about experiences of his own personal life. I've read it so many times it may be considered unhealthy. That's why I was so disappointed with Megacheese. I don't want to give the impression that I don't "get" his dry-wit writing style, I love it. And I was hoping that he would rip apart blockbuster movies and overrated actors in glorious detail but instead leaves us with, "This movie is bad, it's really bad." I wish it were filled with more specifics. It was all I could do to finish this book. But since this was his first, maybe he's just getting better with each one. I look forward to Death Rat.
Rating: 
Summary: Amusing collection of movie reviews
Review: Few people are more qualified than Mike Nelson when it comes to writing bad movies. As both a writer and an actor on Mystery Science Theater 3000, he has seen more than his fair share of cinematic atrocities. In this collection of reviews and movie commentary, Nelson builds on his experience to write about some of the recent bad movies that have come out. And unlike MST3K, where Nelson was limited to low budget B-movies, this book tackles the big budget flicks. The result is a sometimes uneven but generally funny collection. Nelson's experience as a humor writer pays off as he lambastes such bad movies as Lost in Space, Mighty Joe Young and Batman & Robin. Of course, there will be some movies in here that you may think are good, but his joking is generally good-natured enough that you can enjoy his review of even those. He even dedicates a chapter to skewering his own Mystery Science Theater movie. In addition, Nelson writes about various TV shows and actors and even has a section on such cinematic dynasties as the Baldwins and the Estevez/Sheens. It's all pretty funny, but I would recommend that it be read in small doses...too much at one time (as I read it) and you get used to the humor and it isn't quite as good. Overall, this book is good for both Misties and non-Misties, just as long as you recognize the inherent humor in watching a bad movie. For every Citizen Kane, there's at least three Waterworlds, which means Nelson will have no trouble writing a sequel whenever he wants.
Rating:
Summary: I wish MST3K had spoofed A-grade movies....
Review: ....and this book is the closest thing to it. It's great! Michael Nelson recognizes a cheap plot and a bogus Hollywood cliche when he sees one, and recognizes that big-budget sfx aren't necessarily better sfx. In other words, he knows that most A-grade films are nothing more than expensive B-grade films. Sure, he seems spiteful for it's own sake at times, but that's what I expected from the host/head writer of MST3K, and besides, most of the films/actors he rips on are long overdue for it. Good stuff!
Rating:
Summary: Very, very worth it
Review: This is the perfect book for every adult who has seen a movie only to end up thinking, "Either I'm gettin' smarter, or Hollywood's gettin' dumber." This is NOT the perfect book for people so lacking in humor or sanity that they see an attack on what is nothing more than just another form of entertainment as some sort of intellectual crime. That is, if you were deranged enough to think that "Coyote Ugly" is fine cinema, perhaps you should continue reading "Hustler" in the bathroom. For the rest of us unable to dumb ourselves down to the point of not caring that one bad movie equals the loss of both a large chunk of cash and a large chunk of unrecoverable time, this book - every pointed, accusatory, sarcastic, droll word of it - is like mana from Heaven. Or Hell, if you're still in the bathroom. Depends on where you're coming from, I guess.
Rating: 
Summary: Amusing, but ....
Review: 5 Star ratings should be used sparingly. Mega Cheese is mildly amusing in a loose, disconnected way (it's a collection of articles with no unifying theme, btw); reminds me of something Dave Barry might put together in a Robitussin haze. I appreciate the fact that MST3K fans (cheated out of a GREAT show by Sci-fi Channnel suits) want to bolster Mike and anything MST3K related, but for long term's sake, be honest: MST3K did for bad movies what Monty Python did for comedy in general; individual minds together creating a sum greater than its parts; Mega Cheese is more on par with Erik the Viking. Get the MST3K AMAZING COLOSSAL book first.
Rating:
Summary: Most of it is raving...
Review: but Mike Nelson does deal with some serious issues with his humor. The previews that promise more than the movie can deliver, the over-use of FX, using big budgets to cover the fact that the plot stinks and the actors are second rate. And the horror that is Adam Sandler. On the other hand I look foreward to the day Jackie Chan takes over all our action flicks.
Rating:
Summary: Quite the enjoyable tome.
Review: Something for everyone. Jokes about the insipidly unfunny and frightening Carrot-Top in the same space as intelligent, dry wit about assonance. Humor involving bodily functions near an essay on the unlikelihood of shared motivation by terrorist cabals in modern action films.
Get this book. It possesses the highest laugh quotient of any book I know.
Best part: It's 98% Seagal and Van Damme-Free!
Rating:
Summary: MOVIES THAT SUCK; A BOOK THAT DOESN'T
Review: Mike Nelson's iron standard for Hollywood productions: how well does this compare to the epitome of American film, ROAD HOUSE? The answer is usually, "Not too well." There are a lot of bad movies out there -- not just low-budget stinkers, but the big-budget "must see" pictures that pander to the lowest common denominator, and hold their audience in utter contempt. MEGACHEESE is rolling on the floor funny. From the predictability of chick flicks, to the mindlessness of action thrillers, to the imbecility of Hollywood spectaculars (let me get this straight, the aliens are capable of interstellar flight, have observed us for years, but they never figured out to get Norton anti-virus?), Mike Nelson skewers inept and contempuous actors, directors, producers, screen writers, and movie execs. Particularly funny now are the comments on DVD special editions and director's cuts on video -- did we really need a food-u-mentary on how the catering was done for LOST IN SPACE/
Rating:
Summary: Too much cheese is bad
Review: To begin, what is Megacheese? Megacheese is a compilation of movie / actor reviews, most of which highlight these in their negative aspects. Mike writes in a fasion never before seen. From his book, it seems that he's seen so many bad movies, he doesn't like any movies anymore. At least, not the ones in this book. He comes up with some outrageous analogies and throws in such quirky tags here and there, it's very enjoyable to read. Er.... for the first 60 pages, that is. I made the mistake of reading the book cover to cover. Ouch. Any movie I didn't know anything about, I still don't know anything about-- except that Mike didn't like it. In fact, on page 78, he footnotes, "I apologize if my reviews seem a bit ambiguous." He couldn't be more correct! Mike strays off topic a lot, especially with this DVD fetish of his. And this ambiguous notion, complimented by the fact that he repeats a lot of his "clever" anologies, constitutes a rather syrupy headache. So if you want to enjoy some Megacheese, just read the reviews that pertain to movies you're interested in or familiar with. Otherwise you're going to hurt yourself. Don't eat too much cheese!
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