Rating: 
Summary: VERY informative and mostly accurate.
Review: I thought this was an excellent book, written in language that is easily understood by everyone (not just Medical Professionals). I do wish however that the authors had put more emphasis on the feelings of emptiness and how extremely painful (physically painful!) they can be. Also, it assumed that most Borderlines have a problem w/self-mutilation. Many do, but many don't. I thought this was a great book and I bought copies for family members and those closest to me in the hopes that they would understand my "outbursts" were not directed at them. That sometimes, I just needed to be left alone until I came back to the "real" world and that was when I needed them the most. It's confusing, even now. I also think the last few chapters should have been at the BEGINNING of the book - for those dealing or living with the Borderline. I think it would've helped them understand the whole book just a bit more.
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Summary: I found this book to be very negative.
Review: I have BPD and did not find this book to be helpful. It was extremely negative. The persons suffering with this disorder were portrayed as manipulative and very difficult. These people caused so much pain and suffering for others. I felt horrible after seeing myself described this way. There is a continium of severity of symptoms. We are not all like the patients portrayed in the book. I was very disturbed by the bleak outlook on the possibility of recovery. My psychiatrist and I discussed the book and my reaction. He said that other patients had similar reactions.
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Summary: The Best Introduction to BPD
Review: Although older, this book remains the best comprehensive introduction to the Borderline Personality Disorder on the market,in my view. Written for all readers, anyone wishing to gain an understanding of this condition would do well to start with this book before moving on to the others. The price is right, and it is a good book to send to persons you would wish to educate about the condition. This book is not necessarily directed primarily at sufferers, and so does not have quite the sensitive air about it that the other good and currently popular book "Lost in the Mirror" has. If you make it through these two books, and can take 400 pages of fairly scholarly reading, the Cauwels book "Imbroglio" is an accessable overview of current thinking on the parts of all the achademic 'Big Guns' in this field. A little dense, but a valuable bookmark as to where thinking is on this subject at this time. Well worth reading also.
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Summary: This book helped me to understand why I react the way I do.
Review: "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" is God's work in my life. This book has helped me to understand what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is in a way I never understood before. I was feeling feelings and acting in ways I couldn't understand. My life is a constant roller coaster of depression, inner pain and wanting to revenge/retaliate against those people who I love the most and I perceive want to hurt me. I have been in therapy for over seven years. My therapist never told me that I was inflicted with this miserable condition. Now I am able to see myself in a very different light, and it enables me to work on issues I didn't realize I had. Unfortunately, people in the mental health field give Borderlines such a negative connotation that change and growth often times becomes difficult for those of us who are afflicted with this disease. Even though I hold an undergraduate degree in Psychology, "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" explains things to me in ways that I am able to understand. I have ordered copies for many of my friends, so they can gain an understanding of those of us who are cursed with this disease. I can't thank the authors enough for writing this very helpful book.
Rating: 
Summary: Good explanation, need more advice though
Review: This book did a good job of explaining BPD. I can imagine many people saying BPB does not exist, that it is just an excuse people give for bad behavior and not taking responsiblity for their own actions. BPD is all too real and it is too bad the therapy community does not address it head-on. If you are involved with someone who has BPD, good luck. You are in for a tough time. Unfortunately, getting out of the relationship is something you will need to consider, as the book rightly says you cannot "fix" someone else's problems. I wanted the book to offer more advice on how to deal with someone who has BPD, but I agree with the reviewer who thought that section was too thin. Could be because there is no realistic way to deal with a BPD without shutting yourself down.
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Summary: I would give this book 6 stars if I could. Great book on BPD
Review: I found this book to be very useful in helping me understand the behavior of a woman with whom I was involved. It was recommended to me by my therapist who was treating me for depression because of the traumatic relationship I had with a borderline. Kreisman and Straus do an excellent job of explaining the root causes, behaviors, and treatment of the disorder as well as coping skills for dealing with a person with BPD. Although the relationship was turbulent and ended disastrously, I found a great deal of comfort in the book because it explained how and why a borderline behaves the she does. I learned that I indeed had narcissistic tendencies which drew me toward women with clinging and idealizing behavior, but then devaluating and vengeful behavior. Basically I was involved in a hostile/dependent ( narcissistic / borderline ) relationship. It made me take a serious look at my self. I also have learned to be a lot more cautious about who I relate with in my life. Borderlines are not evil, just very vengeful and scared people. If you are involved in any capacity with someone who exhibits primitive idealization, devaluation, omnipotence, projection, or projective identification and seems irrational, this person may have BPD. This book will help you learn principles to help cope with a borderline. I sure wish I had access to it when I was involved with one. I think this is among the books which have had the most positive impact on my life. This book will help you identify and understand borderline behavior as well as cope with those who are afflicted with this misunderstood and painful disorder. I hope you will find it useful as I have.
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Summary: This book helps you understand yourself as a borderline.
Review: I suffered from tremendous anger, and didn't know why until I read this book. This book helped me understand why I was always so angry and couldn't control it. I just thought I was a physco. I really was depressed and afraid and that scared me. I now know what I suffer from, and that I'm not alone. I always felt alone, like a crazy person. Now I have some hope, and can face my self and others. This book described me to the T. I recommend this book to everyone suffering inside and notsure why. I was emotionally and physically abused by my father for years, now I as an adult I can startto recover. Please read this book, if you think you could possibly have BPD. Also read this book if youthink you have a loved one with BPD.Because they need your help. It helped me, and it can help you.
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Summary: A MUST-READ to understand the BPD in your life.
Review: After I found the love of my life, I let her know how I felt. Then the rollercoaster ride started. I saw her actually trying to push me away, while at the same time acting like she didn't want me to go. I was left dazed and confused - until I read this book. BPD is a widespread problem that you won't hear about in the news, and therapists don't like to talk about. This book, however, will help you understand what is going on, and what you can do about it. The authors explain BPD with examples and terminology that anyone can understand. If you or someone you love suffers from BPD, you MUST read this book. You will learn you are not alone.
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Summary: Overall, this book is informative and well written.
Review: Overall, this book provides an excellent starting point for those who are faced with the challenging task of pursuing a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder. Written in a compassionate and understandable manner, it provides a comprehensive overview of the disorder and its causes, symptoms, and treatment strategies. The author(s) did an excellent job of explaining the borderline's seemingly manipulative and cruel behavior within the context of his/her past experiences and the resulting personality disorder. Also, the explanation of the disorder's symptoms was good and fairly thorough. However, the information provided on methods of coping with the borderline's depression, unreasonable anger, self-destructive tendencies, manipulative behavior, and general communication problems was somewhat thin. The SET method of communication introduced in the text is effective, but some of the space devoted to it might have been better used to explore ! ! other methods of coping and communicating with the borderline.
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Summary: An eye opener in Understanding a BPD in your life.
Review: After being involved in an 8 year relationship with the love of my life, I never really understood why we could never move toward a committed relationship. Since we are now just friends, she gave a copy of the book to me and suggested I read it to better understand her. It was only after I read this book did I fully understand how devastating and cripling it was for anyone suffering from BPD. I am still working on closure, but this book offers clear explanations, and examples of the BPD. Today, I have just ordered a copy for my self and another for a friend who maybe involved with a BPD.
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