Rating:  Summary: The title is false advertising Review: I bought this book on the suggestion of a friend, and I'm sorry I did.Yes, there are a few good things in it. For instance, chapters about specifying what you want in a mate and defining what you are willing to give, provide helpful checklists. No doubt, similar lists and concepts are found in other books. But the title leads you to believe that the author will apply the wisdom of the Buddha to the dating life. And for the most part, that simply does not happen. The Buddha is hardly mentioned or quoted at all, for most of the book, and in fact, the author appears to be much less familiar with Buddhism than she is with the Muslim Sufi mystical tradition. She quotes Rumi, a Sufi poet, a great deal, quotes modern therapists, etc., but even when she quotes something referring to the Buddha, it's a quote at second hand from a modern author, not a quote from the Buddha's own discourses, or even one of his ancient commentators, or even such collections as "The Gateless Gate." This ought to be a challenging book, braced with a healthy irony and detachment, precisely because the Buddha taught non-attachment and emancipation from desires--whereas for most people, of course, desire is what drives the whole dating enterprise to begin with. Obviously, the whole idea of the Buddha dating is highly unlikely, and for that reason alone, we are entitled to expect some wry wisdom from someone who has truly wrestled with the problem of seeking intimacy while cultivating detachment from the blandishments of everyday life. In fact, the book is very little more than a pastiche of New Age cliches, with a few Buddhist references thrown in for window dressing. For instance, around page 142, the author talks about driving along a highway and seeing a wounded deer. What did she do about this? "I breathed in the deer's pain, and felt a swirling cloud within me. Then I beathed a blessing on the deer and had an image of a deer happily running through the woods. I have no idea whether I helped the deer or not, but I sure felt better." I'm not kidding. This is said with a straight face. Not only did she not stop to investigate, it seems she didn't even go to a pay phone and call a game warden. She just "breathed in the deer's pain," "breathed out a blessing," and drove on. This kind of fatuous, self-congratulatory inanity is a rather remarkable example for this book but is not all that atypical. Since I generally don't read dating books, I can't say whether this book is any better or worse than other such books out there. But as a vehicle for applying Buddhist wisdom to the dating life, the book is a fraud. The author simply doesn't know enough about Buddhism to say much in that line, so she falls back on saying things like "dance with your fears" and "flow into the love of the gem that is you."
Rating:  Summary: Self Examination and Compassion... Review: I don't know about Dr. Kasl's previously written "Finding Joy", but "If the Buddha Dated" is a joy in itself. This, among all the self-help, meditation and Buddhist books has done more in helping me get to the bottom of fear than anything I've read to date. Void of the formulaic speeches of dating do's and don'ts, Kasl first encourages self-love through some serious but compassionate "homework" -- getting to the heart of old filters and past hurts that play like a broken record. I love that she is multispiritual, borrowing from Buddhism, Sufism (new to me!) and her orginal Quaker roots, all of which promote spiritual discovery. Now when I meditate, scary as it is, the purpose is clear. "Sit down and suffer your terror, talk with your Buddha nature, stay put and breathe." A breath of fresh air, for sure. I haven't even considered the "dating" part, so entranced am I with this clear, solid approach to the Path. I highly recommend this book for those in search of personal growth and bonding with others.
Rating:  Summary: The best book I've read on relationships of every kind Review: I have read more than my share of self help books but this is the most helpful book I have ever read. It started out slow - in the first pages I was rolling my eyes because I felt like it was simple stuff I already knew, but by page ten I was engrossed and thrilled. It is simple, straightforward, fun reading, it makes complete sense and helps clarify the issues that come up in every kind of relationship, from partners to potential partners, to family and friends. I could not put it down. I had an 'aha' every few pages, found it joyful and affirming and incredibly helpful. When I was halfway through it I bought 8 more copies and gave them to eight friends. They all loved it and have all given copies to their friends and family. I quickly saw my relationships to others and to myself start to change, I actively used the theories to improve my dynamics with others and one day read just one sentence and completely let go of some pain I'd been carrying for days over a conflict with a friend. Poof - it was gone and I was looking at it from a whole new place and learned a lesson I have used again and again since that day. I also re-established contact with a friend who I'd parted ways with years ago and in one easy conversation we came together again resolved the problem, laughed over how big we'd made it and have had a healthier, happier and closer friendship than ever since. I am back today to order 3 more copies for three more people - one of them is the new man in my life whom I feel this book was intrumental in helping me find. I'm choosing differently, approaching things differently and what's more - I'm happier and feel more clear and peaceful about relationships than I ever have. Get this book and a few extras for the people you love - you won't regret it. And grab your highlighter- there are gems on every page.
Rating:  Summary: great data, a little hard to follow Review: I love the information in this book but it seems as if it could have been organized better. I have about half of the book underlined and every time I go back to re-read it I underline more. It has helped me looking at finding my true love from a much better place. If you are at all inclined towards spirituality and would like to benefit from its help in finding a true mate then this is a great book. There are great references in the biography too.
Rating:  Summary: Dating and Relationships taken a step deeper Review: I loved this book! It is short and quick read. A different look on dating that take these relationships a step deeper. I found it very easy to read and understand. If you are single and looking for a relationship, this is a good place to start. This book helps you get in touch with what your soul wants in a relationship and it helps you honor your own needs.
Rating:  Summary: So-So Review: I only thought this book was so-so. There really wasn't much in it that I didn't already know. Mostly it's just a collection of common sense, nothing original in it at all. Plus, as anyone who knows anything about Buddhism knows, the Buddha said nothing about romantic love. So, this book's premise itself is a little tenuous.
Rating:  Summary: A wonderful balance of practical and philosophical Review: I picked up this book as part of the exploration of a relationship I had in which I felt that we had a lot of interests in common (sports activities, travel, etc) but were not bonding at a deeper, spiritual level. This book helped identify ways to take our relationship to a deeper level.
At the same time, it also gave a lot of very practical advice about setting minimum standards on what kind of person to date, having faith about finding someone who is a great match--not just merely settling for a so-so match.
Rating:  Summary: If the Buddha Dated Review: I read this book after it was suggested by a friend. I had gotten out of a realtionship and was working to improve myself after learning a few things about myself that I didn't like. This book is incredible! It is an entertaineing, yet educational book that kept me intigued all of the way through. I read in an earlier review how the person kept having aha's! every couple of pages. She couldn't have expressed it any better! It is full of insights that helped me to move closer to the person I want to be and to the relationship that I want to be in. It pulls from Buddhism, Sufism, and Quaker ideals to help you find the ideal of a relationship you want to be in. It has bits of poetry and scripture throughout the book that will touch you (especially the stuff by Rumi!). A must read, and one of the best that I have ever read.
Rating:  Summary: An excellent guide to yourself and others Review: I recently stopped dating someone for 3 months who I was pretty serious about. Now that I've read this book, it has helped me can look back with objectivity about some of the reasons as to what I learned by being in that relationship. I can see much more clearly why I did the things I did and why my boyfriend did the things he did. It's kind of uncomfortable and at the same time funny examining things that happened. This book is an excellent guide that will help you examine your relationships and what you're learning from them.
Rating:  Summary: A joy Review: I thoroughly enjoyed reading this wonderful little book. It takes a close look at spirituality and love and deals with these subjects in the same playful yet practical way as "I'm with Big Nose: Double Dating With Ganesh".
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