Rating: 
Summary: One of the Best Books of 2004-Already!
Review: All I can say is: I'm not having a child with any man who does not read this book and agree with its principals. At last a charming, fascinating and deeply personal look at a concept that, when it comes down to it, is really just fairness and common sense: truly equal parenting. There is absolutely no reason why a woman should suddenly lose her sense of self (encompassed for Fox by, among other things, her job, friendships with other women, personal interests) because she has a child. In fact, she has every reason to work as hard as Fox does to hang onto that self. After all, what child benefits from a woman without a vital existence of her very own? I congratulate Faulkner Fox for making her points so calmly and effectively, and with such a tremendous sense of style.
Rating:
Summary: Just About Perfect
Review: I devoured this book in a few hours -- no small feat when you're the mother of two small children -- and absolutely loved it. Faulkner Fox's exploration of the complexities of motherhood is bold, funny, incisive, and refreshing. I completely related to her take on seemingly mandated "mommy & me" groups, I loved her concept of "Frequent Parenting Miles," and I agonized along with her about how to balance the parenting load with a partner. Anyone who has reckoned with a profound identity shift upon entering motherhood will recognize themselves in this honest portrait of one woman's struggle to make peace with the dream and the reality of the house, the man, and the child.Andrea Buchanan
author of _Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It_ (Seal Press)
Rating:
Summary: feminist ambivalence made smart and funny
Review: This book captures the ambivalence that many of us 3rd wave feminists have felt about marriage and motherhood. It's thoughtful, hilarious, provocative, and beautifully written to boot. Highly recommended. Katie Allison Granju
Author of _Attachment Parenting:Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child_ (Pocket Books)
Rating:
Summary: A book that finally says what mothers all over feel
Review: This book is a wonderful expose of motherhood. I felt so relieved when I read this that someone finally had the courage to write this book. I cried while reading it because I knew that I was not alone. Although, I found her tone a bit angry at times I understood that her tone was just the deep conflict she felt between motherhood and self coming through. A very honest and thought provoking book. I found it interesting while reading the reviews that most people either gave this book 5 stars or 1 star. I think that most people who did not like this book are afraid to admit that they feel the way she did or they have not realized this. It is a truth that is tough to admit to ourselves in our quietest moments, much less read on paper. I think that in many ways Faulkner broke the unwritten rules of motherhood that we can't admit how we feel and we definatley can't write about it. I was especially touched by the chapter on her second birth and felt that she really said what alot of women wonder when they are separate from their child after birth. I didn't get to hold my son for 36 hours after his birth due to him being on a ventilator. My first birth was an unmedicated birth where she was put on my chest 2 seconds after birth. I felt Faukner really described how I felt about my births very well. I think alot of women are afraid to admit how much they wonder how separation affects their relationship and how much it bothers them. We are told that we shouldn't be upset because we have a heathly baby (thank goodness my son is healthy now), but still we are.
Rating:
Summary: Fabulous Honesty
Review: This is a fabulous book. Hillarious and biting, touching and hard-hitting. The absolute best critique of "healthy pregnancy" literature and the home-birth versus hospital debate of any motherhood memoir I've ever read. (And I've read quite a few!) Fox is wonderfully self-mocking while also deeply sympathetic. She is witty and unforgivingly insightful about the stress parenthood places on marriages-- while also flagging an ernest hope that partnerships might weather the storm and be stronger. (Again, this is a topic rarely treated with full honesty in most memoirs.) Lastly, the book is an achingly poignant exploration of the enduring tension so many women feel between their professional/political ambitions and their desire for emotional intimacy and presence in their children's lives. Free of moralism and pat answers--- or any "answers," really-- it's an invitation to feel solidarity rather than complete identification with parents struggling anywhere. I raced through the book in a single day and loved it.
Rating: 
Summary: Crucial read for nursing moms!
Review: During pregnancy, I read all the books you're "supposed" to -- but not even the famed "Girlfriends Guide" spoke as much truth as this book. Faulkner Fox is the first writer who made me feel that I wasn't crazy or misguided to despair over things like division-of-labor and sleep-as-commodity. Take breastfeeding, for example. I've nursed my son for nearly 10 months now. I was prepared for the natural beauty of nursing, the medical benefits of it, the inexpense and ease of it (no bottles to warm, no formula to buy). But no one mentioned the biggest thing (after all, it would be gauche to complain when a baby is such a tiny miracle, yes?): nursing necessarily results in a HUGELY skewed division of labor. My husband, like Fox's, is a wonderful man, an enlightened feminist -- but he can count on one hand the number of times he awoke at night those first months. Why should he, when I was the only one who could feed the child? Why should he be the one to stay home from work when I had to be here anyway, every three hours? I wish I'd encountered Faulkner Fox's book earlier; she's honest about the good parts and the bad. Having a child IS life-changing, and to the reader below who mocked Fox for not realizing how life-changing it would be, shame on you. We're ALL figuring this thing out little by little, and sharing our stories can only help. Thanks to Faulkner Fox for being brave enough to do just that.
Rating: 
Summary: Depressing....
Review: I went into this book thinking it would be interesting and maybe give me a look at what motherhood is like for others. I hope not all women feel this way or we will have a world of screwed up children. She complains incessantly about the distribution of labor and the costs of caring for young children, as though it is just an unpleasant by-product of motherhood rather than one of the wonderful aspects of it. She also seems to be a bit loony, discussing her radical past, like trips to concerts with "warlocks" and her 6-month juice only diet. It also doesn't take her long to get her dig in on pro-life people, saying they want to punish women for having sex.
I would pass up this book, and maybe read Maternal Desire: On Children, Love, and the Inner Life instead.
Rating:
Summary: Don't Moms hear enough WHINING!!??
Review: This book is just page after page of repetitive whining. There are many other books about the experiences of being a mom that are enlightening, positive, and/or humorous- pass on this one. What we don't need is a whining woman complaining about how oppressive being a mother is. If this author faced a real hardship in life, maybe she'd change her tune. But from her book, I gather her nightmare is the fact that she has to do her family's laundry- IMAGINE!
Rating: 
Summary: Thought I would love it but found it quite depressing. . . .
Review: As a mother of twin toddlers in a two Ph.D. family (my husband and I, that is)- I can certainly relate to much of the content of the book. I have also felt isolated and lost, and pissed off at my husband about the domestic load that I am bearing. But the anger in this book! Obsessively keeping track of domestic chores in 15-minute intervals in order to demand like from partner? And also, this book is NOT humorous except in the most black of ways!
Not every woman is going to be fulfilled by staying home and taking care of children, and it is extremely difficult to have to choose between your children and your career. But not once does the author recognize that by being a loving parent, whether you work or not, you make the world a better place every day (I know how trite that sounds, but it's true!). Although she loves her children, they are a source of oppression in that society expects her to _____________ (feed them organic vegetables, bring them to Gymboree, give up her "adult" life, whatever!). The endless self examination, recrimination, blame and anger got tiresome and left me with a flat and hollow feeling.
That said, I'm glad that other women have found reading it a positive experience. I guess you should read the sample pages before you plop down the cash.
Rating:
Summary: A book that finally says what mothers all over feel
Review: This is a fabulous book. Hillarious and biting, touching and hard-hitting. The absolute best critique of "healthy pregnancy" literature and the home-birth versus hospital debate of any motherhood memoir I've ever read. (And I've read quite a few!) Fox is wonderfully self-mocking while also deeply sympathetic. She is witty and unforgivingly insightful about the stress parenthood places on marriages-- while also flagging an ernest hope that partnerships might weather the storm and be stronger. (Again, this is a topic rarely treated with full honesty in most memoirs.) Lastly, the book is an achingly poignant exploration of the enduring tension so many women feel between their professional/political ambitions and their desire for emotional intimacy and presence in their children's lives. Free of moralism and pat answers--- or any "answers," really-- it's an invitation to feel solidarity rather than complete identification with parents struggling anywhere. I raced through the book in a single day and loved it.
|
