Rating: 
Summary: Three Cheers for Sharing an Examined Life!
Review: Fox's book not only kept me up late reading, but also laughing out loud. I completely identified with her sense of isolation as a young parent and relished the way she used humor to create some healthy breathing space for dealing with situations all parents confront: judgmentalism from other parents, anxiety about your kids' development, tensions between partners. I didn't agree with everything Fox said -- I do think the rockgroup Rush had some profound things to say! -- but I was delighted to hear Fox's voice: vulnerable, edgy, insightful, and really, really funny. More seriously, it was a relief to hear someone courageous enough to admit that mothering is not a woman's sacred calling. As a father of two young kids myself, I found Fox's curiosity and irreverence a great antidote to the constant prescriptions I hear for parents - do this, do that, etc, to create a perfect child. This is a book not only for mothers, but for any husband or father who might be wondering why their partners seem unhappy when everything on the surface seems fine and are curious to find out "what's goin' on." I highly, highly recommend the book!
Rating: 
Summary: I can't believe we are all reading the same book!
Review: What book are the five-star reviewers reading? This book is not funny. It is incredibly depressing. Fox spews her anger and pathologies with little insight or hope. As a creative writing professor, Fox should be very aware of the effect of tone on her reader. One of her favorite words to describe child interactions and mothering in general is "hideous," and that is the feeling I have about this book. Her analogy for pregnancy is "constant penetration of a bodily orifice." On page 23, she describes her feelings during a Christmas before she was a mother in a passage containing the words: sad, lonely, angry, oppressive, wrong, exhausting, and demoralizing. I couldn't take 260 pages of this. The irony is, I completely empathize with her central thesis: "I miss myself--a grounded and receptive incarnation, rather than the pinched, sleep-deprived, rushing person I know to be myself more often than not." Everyone is entitled to her opinion about this book, but before you buy it based on a five-star rating, read the first 20 pages and decide for yourself if this book is for you. A lot of people have rated the negative reviews as "not helpful," which is really unfair. This is a love-it-or-hate-it kind of book and you should figure out which camp you fall in before you plunk down money to buy it.
Rating:
Summary: Thought about sending back to the author
Review: I was expecting self-effacing humor from someone trying to do it all. Not this book. Egocentric and self-centered are much more the words that come to mind. The only one putting down Motherhood is Faulkner Fox who would rather be working, because apparently mothering isn't important enough for a white liberal woman. I tried to have sympathy with the woman but couldn't. Don't like Gymboree's? Don't go. Personally, I don't have that kind of conflict and I don't understand it in others, especially when they are hypocritical about it. Marriage for Faulkner is a competition about who gets to work and who "has" to raise the kids and clean the house (a low priority from the sounds of it), not a mutual striving together, each person doing what they can to get the whole family ahead. In short, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, except perhaps as a study in dysfunctionality.
Rating:
Summary: Brave Brave
Review: I find the author's honesty to be incredibly brave. Sometimes being a mom is akin to being a prisoner, and its so rare that we get a chance to air that. When the author and her friend wish they could go to the hospital for a few days? Oh many are the times Ive thought how nice it would be to be taken care of there, in a clean bare room, and noone would interrupt while you are trying to do something as basic as brush your teeth.
It is a truly feminist book, and yet even more so, simply a real look at how hard it is to be a mom. Especially for those who forgot to throw away every dream they ever had when baby was born.
Rating:
Summary: a rare window onto the private lives of mothers
Review: I'll never forget how my first mom-and-baby playgroup used to depress the hell out of me. I kept trying to get the other moms to talk about how hard it was, how scary, how I adored my baby beyond all belief but still wished I could put her in the basement for the night so I could get some sleep. I'd nervously bring up topics like my fear that I'd never be able to think a thought again, let alone share one with another adult, and they'd just shut me down, smiling about how blissful motherhood was. I figured either I was a disaster of a mother or they were in denial. It was good to read Fox's book and know first, that I'm not the only disaster of a mother (Fox is good company), and second, that maybe I'm not crazy, and maybe the other moms are in denial! This book is a great read, and a real comfort.
Rating:
Summary: Brilliant, ground-breaking book
Review: Faulkner Fox readily admits she, as I did, held a myth of what life would be like with a husband and child. Once she "had it all", Fox felt conflicted. That myth wasn't anywhere to be found, at least not at her house. This book is about real life that for some reason people are so afraid to talk about. I laughed out loud when she describes a chat with a neighbor after being up most of the night with her newborn. To her neighbor's question "How is it being home, enjoying a nice break from work?", she replied "This is the hardest thing I've ever done, and my last job...involved death threats". It was clear she had horrified her. But what was she supposed to say? She hadn't slept, eaten or did any personal grooming in hours. So as I read this book, those old familiar feelings started to surface. Why couldn't I lament the joys of parenthood with my neighbor? Do other women actually enjoy sleep deprivation? Were they so blindly thrilled with their newborn it didn't matter? What was wrong with me? Were they sugar coating, or am I just a wretched, awful excuse for a mother? Why was it I felt so compelled to work at home pursuing a new business? Couldn't I just be happy raising my children? Fox struggles with the ideal of being completely selfless after having a child. She is well educated and had a dream - to write. Why should she suddenly abandon these dreams because she became a mother? And, why was she was doing a majority of the work at home? The trials Fox and her professor husband endure are fascinating. While he pursued tenure at his university, Fox continued to pursue her dream of writing and wouldn't accept anything less. While the other professor's wives dutifully took on all the work at home, allowing their husbands to focus entirely on their careers (with a few getting divorced in the process), she still demanded her husband do his fair share. She was so angry at the inequality she created a chart of "Frequent Parenting Miles", a running count of child care hours, the surplus of which could be turned in for time off. Now for those of you who could take a trip around the world with your miles, lets talk. Why is it, that many women work full time, just as men traditionally do, yet we take on the majority of the household duties as well? Why is it when a father has their children they are "watching them?" I get so sick of people telling me what a wooooonderful husband I have because he does things with his children. Is he not their father? I can only surmise that we have been led to believe that if we complain, somehow that translates to either not being a good mother, or that we don't love our children as much as the woman with the perma-smile. Fox then explores her difficulty creating friendships with other mothers. Personally, I have found this to be one of the more disappointing aspects of being a mother. Why do we judge each other so much? Stay-at-home moms versus working moms. Bottle versus breastfeeding. A popular woman's website actually has message boards devoted to these "debates" just so women can make each other feel bad. One woman Fox knew used a "yardstick" to "test" other women to see if they were friend-worthy. Breastfeeds - 10 points. Breastfeeds for more than one year - 20 points. Works part time - minus 5 points. eeeeeeeewwwwww. These women who I enjoyed high school and college with were suddenly the enemy. I was paralyzed by the air of mistrust. For instance, if you are bottle feeding, could this mom you just met at the park be like a raving breastfeeding activist? Dare you whip out the bottle to nourish your hungry offspring? Fox talks about hanging out at the local McDonald's playland to escape the harrowing judgment in her neighborhood park. Surely no one who let their child eat and play at McDonalds could be that morally superior. In the end, Fox learns to live and thrive with her husband, her children & her mother-friends. And she does it without sacrificing herself, or her dreams. Faulkner Fox has penned not only a provocative, flawlessly written book, but an important one. Women must bridge the gaps of inequality not only in the workplace, but on the home-front as well.
Rating:
Summary: Prospective father says "Thumbs Up"
Review: It would be great if the world worked the way it was supposed to, but for most of us, it doesn't seem to. I'm not a new mother, or a mom to be, but as a prospective father, I was interested in a book that seemed a little more in touch with the anxieties of people like the ones I know. And this book really delivers. It's packed with info that any dad-to-be should be thinking about, such as: how much will be expected of me? How much is fair? I hate to jump on the bandwagon, but the concept of Frequent Parenting Miles will almost certainly figure into my life when I have children of my own. And I love Ms. Fox's honesty about her difficulties. She's not pretending to be any smarter or in control than she really is. The beauty of the book is, she doesn't need to. This is a very smart, very honest book, and she gives men as well as women permission to question the assumptions they may have about how parenting is "supposed" to be done.
Rating:
Summary: Motherhood doesn't have to be this way!
Review: I'd give Faulkner Fox's book 2 stars as an honest account of one cynical, depressed woman's struggle to deal with motherhood. However, this book is being marketed as a book that "every pregnant or planning-to-be-pregnant woman with a modicum of ambition would do well to read," and as such I'd give it ZERO stars. Fox is full of anger and resentment, and she had such unrealistic expectations of motherhood that it's no wonder she was disappointed. Her story is painful to read. She was depressed before, during, and after the arrival of her husband and children. As Fox herself said in her analysis of Sylvia Plath: "Motherhood hadn't cured her. Perhaps it exacerbated what ailed her. It certianly hadn't make her into something other than what she was before." Don't belive the marketing hype--Fox's story does not represent every woman's experience, and I would NOT recommend this book for a new mother.
Rating:
Summary: Finally ! an intelligent, honest view of motherhood
Review: With wit and verve and no axe to grind Faulkner Fox shows what contemporary motherhood is really like. Fox's descriptions of the everyday anguish and elation that is motherhood are powerful and refreshing. It will be a relief to many mothers and fathers alike to have an accurate, readable, and humorous look at parenthood, without the usual pedantic, religious fervor (either to the right or the left) that most books on this topic betray. This is a must read book for parents-to-be, parents in OJT,and grandparents who are trying to think of some way to help. Buy it for all your friends.
Rating:
Summary: An Honest and Groundbreaking Book
Review: Once upon a time, women grew up believing that motherhood would equal fulfillment, that unconditional love for our children would be innate, that being a mommy would make us glow with happiness round the clock -- unless, of course, there was something intrinsically wrong with our character. Jane Lazarre brilliantly exploded this myth in _The Mother Knot_. Thirty years later, Faulkner Fox explodes the myth of a new generation: that parenthood has become an equal opportunity profession. With as much eloquence as Lazarre and much more humor, Fox navigates the Gymboree world of modern parenting -- most importantly the disappointment upon discovering that despite best intentions on behalf of both partners, despite all those fathers Baby Bjorning through the park on Saturday, Mom is still, well, Mom. As Fox points out, in order to make up for time spent breastfeeding alone, Dad would have to take over all household chores and most other child-rearing duties. This book will make you angry, it will make you laugh, it will make you exclaim out loud in agreement and relief. It will make you feel like your smartest friend just came over for coffee, and convinced you you're not insane or unreasonable. With palpable love for her family and justifiable bristle at the injustice of domestic life, Faulkner Fox has written a book for anyone who's ever daydreamed about transcendentalism or nuclear physics while clapping her hands at Kindermusik.
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