Rating: 
Summary: If you read the ENTIRE book, you'll agree it's the best!
Review: Unfortunately the reader from Connecticut skimmed the book to read the parts that he/she found to be interesting. I found this book to be the best resource in understanding how relationships work. Dr. Harley has really hit the nail on the head...like it or not. By understanding DR. Harley's concept of the Love Bank, you quickly discover that you possess the ability to give your spouse a reason to be attracted to you. Conversely, you also have the ability to give your spouse a reason NOT to be attracted to you. YOUR CHOICE. My spouse and I are choosing to do all we can to meet each other's needs. Why? Because it works...at least it is working for us. Excellent book! A MUST HAVE!!
Rating: 
Summary: Sometimes accurate, but plays into some damaging stereotypes
Review: During the early part of the book, I was pretty impressed with Mr. Harley's insights. As I continued, however, I became dismayed at some of his advice. While I understand that his assessments don't apply to everyone, I was appalled to read his recommendation for women to be willing to consider plastic surgery if it pleased their husbands. The list goes on: In one particular case, he advised a male patient that his love for a woman couldn't be real, since she was overweight, homely and had six kids. He appeared to agree with a husband who told his wife that, if she didn't lose weight, he would divorce her. What is this, the Jerry Springer Show?!? The clear message throughout this chapter was clear: Better keep wearing the makeup, ladies, or your husband is going to find someone who does! What a shallow, childish, unprofessional message for an experienced counselor to give to people!In one chapter, he told men that their working wives want to be able to pay bills with his income, and keep theirs for spending money -- if they have to use their income for bills, they don't feel "taken care of" and resent their husband. He also stated that the wives who work don't want to. Therefore, he recommended that couples cut back on their lifestyle, regardless of their dual income, so that they could live on one income. In one scenario, he even outlined a plan where a couple could pay rent and utilities with $200 a month! Finally, I was annoyed by how he focuses entirely on the avoidance of affairs in his book. While I understand that many marriages have to contend with this issue at one time or another, I was hoping that the book would focus on how to maintain a healthy marriage for a variety of reasons, INCLUDING the avoidance of affairs. I don't want to keep my husband happy simply so that he won't sleep with other women, but because I care about him, want him to care about me too, and want to have a fulfilling and close relationship with him. I bought this book because my husband and I are having a great deal of problems communicating. We've been together for 10 years, and neither of us have ever strayed despite many problems. While that doesn't guarantee that we won't cheat, I was hoping to find a book that helps me find something positive in my relationship, not merely avoid something negative. By perpetuating the insecurities that many women have concerning their looks, and encouraging women to be financially dependent on men in an age where couples are learning to depend on each other and move away from sexist stereotypes, he is moving the institution of marriage backwards, to a day where more people may have stayed married, but it was because they felt trapped (financially or otherwise), or felt as if they didn't have many options. Today, many people don't want a marriage from the "good old days." We want a modern marriage that works, while still respecting that woman don't have to be housewives who run into the bathroom at 4:30 p.m. to curl her hair before her husband comes home. I want a marriage where I look nice because I enjoy it, not because I have to, and where my husband won't leave me if I put on 20 lbs. Get real, Mr. Harley!!
Rating:
Summary: Excellent and Practical
Review: The book, especially if done jointly by both spouses, and even better if done as part of a facilitated 8-week class, was a tremendous help to us. It rekindled commitment and opened our eyes to many things we had overlooked. Definitely recommended for all married couples, regardless of whether your marriage is great or poor or in between. It can be life changing, IF you commit yourself to really work together on it persistently, and follow through with the good ideas that it will stimulate.
Rating: 
Summary: Interesting ideas, annoying presentation
Review: This book has a great deal of information that is very interesting and couples would do well to talk about. However, I felt his presentation focused too much on what men should do with too little attention payed to the responsibilities of the woman in this process. For example, the chapter dealing with a woman's need for affection talks about how the man should change his behavior to meet his wife's need. The chapter on the man's need for sex speaks of the man showing more affection with little mention given to the possibility that the woman might want to work on increasing her enthusiasm for it. The chapter on a woman's need for financial security speaks of being able to live on a man's salary while the chapter on the man's need for admiration talks mostly of how a woman can change a man's behavior to something she will admire rather than considering that he might already _be_ admirable, but is being taken for granted. Because of this, I believe that a large number of men will become annoyed and defensive reading this book causing them to miss the insights they might have gained otherwise. Four stars for content, minus one for presentation.
Rating:
Summary: Quick read, lasting effect
Review: This book helped me to realize and verbalize my needs, something tough for most guys. It gave my wife and I a basis for intimate discussion and a structure for clearly communicating our deepest needs. The result has been a dramatic increase in our quality of life and our relationship, which has a direct affect on everyone around us, especially our children. I'm giving it to another friend as a gift. By the way, the book is quite relevant regardless whether an affair is present.
Rating: 
Summary: A sword of truth, right through the heart...
Review: We were given the book by friends. My wife didn't seem interested, so I started reading it. I never made it past Chapter 1. Of the five basic needs identified as essential to the man's side of a loving relationship, I came face-to-face with the realization that my wife is not meeting FOUR of them, and she doesn't really care. This book, though helpful for some, glaringly identified the problems we are having, and my wife has no wish to pursue them. So here I sit, with Dr. Harley's "needs" which closely match my own, and Dr. Harley saying these needs must be met, yet mine aren't. Now, I'm certainly smarter, but I'm also a whole lot sadder.. Oh, by the way. The couple who gave us the book? Divorced.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent! Must have for anyone who is/wants to be married
Review: This book talks about the basic fundamental differences between men and women. It teaches about the needs of both sexes and how to communicate these needs to your spouse. It also talks about the dynamics of an affair and how to recognize and avoid the warning signals. I have read this book 4 times--each time, I learn something new about myself and my spouse :-) If you are married and do not have this book, you are selling yourself and your spouse short.
Rating:
Summary: Wonderful Book
Review: This book was definately an eye-opener. It can help any relationship grow to be more loving.
Rating:
Summary: Right on the mark!!!
Review: This book was given to my husband & I as a wedding present. We did snicker about it and say, "Wow, these people are already planning our downfall!" Funny thing, two years and one child later ... we were having trouble communicating and just didn't seem to see where each other was coming from. We both felt somewhat let down by the other person, but couldn't put it into words. One day, in desperation, I looked through our bookshelf and saw this book. Willing to try anything, I began reading right away. Wow! This book put into words what I had been trying to say for months. I was so impressed by this man's insight that I asked my husband as soon as he got home to read it with me. And surprisingly it's something we both completely agree on. This man knows what he's talking about. One day after beginning to read this book we were already communicating better. This book puts everything into perspective. I recommend it to anyone! Even unmarried people who are in serious relationships. I also recommend the workbook that goes along with it!!!
Rating:
Summary: Right on the Money!
Review: This book was recommended to my husband and I before we got married by our Pastor. We are amazed at how much it has helped us to realize how our needs are different from one another. We are newly weds and I can't express enough how this book has given us a new outlook on our relationship. Excellent!
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