Rating: 
Summary: Promotes Conditional Love and Legalism
Review: "His Needs, Her Needs" is well intentioned, but it misses the mark of improving Christian marriages. Here's why:(1) "His Needs, Her Needs" is all about conditional love. Nothing in the Bible states that, for example, a man has a "need" for his wife to keep the house clean and for her to look pretty all of the time. To promote them as objective "needs" and then to pose the threat of an affair if those needs are not met creates an onerous set of conditions for any couple. Couples who read the book will end up in a psychological trap that holds their partner up to an impossible standard that lacks one vital element: GRACE. Couples should focus on Christ instead. Christ calls for sacrifice, even if it entails giving up your so-called needs. Read Ephesians 5 and (for the matter of housework) Luke 10:40. Worship Christ. Then you can love one another. And if you have time left over, clean the house and put on some makeup, but these are completely trivial considerations. Harley's needs are, in a word, "cosmetic." They don't have anything to do with the heart of the matter, which is Jesus. (2) "His Needs, Her Needs" is devoid of the cross of Christ and ends up sounding like a set of rules that will result in relational happiness. Happiness is sacrifice and a relationship with God. If you don't believe me, read the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). It may be nice to have a clean house, but having a clean house won't lead to happiness. If it did, we may as well be ethical atheists, who would say. "I am happy because I work toward happiness by making sure that my personal needs are met. God doesn't need to be involved." In conclusion, your only "need" in this world is Christ. He made us, so he both created and fulfills all of our needs - material, emotional, and otherwise. This is fundamental. Why should there be any question? Read the Gospel According to John or Philip Yancey's "The Jesus I Never Knew" instead of "His Needs, Her Needs," and think Jesus! -- D.W.
Rating: 
Summary: A must read for every married couple
Review: This book is no piece of fine literature, but it has something important to say about your marriage so you'd be wise to listen. This book percieves something that we often miss, that intimacy builds relationships and this is the environment in which affairs start. The author describes what he calls the "love bank" in the first chapters, which is a record of rights and wrongs that another has done in relation to us. Then he details needs that if fulfilled, gain points in the love bank, and if left unfulfilled, subtracts from the love bank. This is constructive wisdom that one wise enough to listen to will learn great relationship building lessons. I disagree with the author in the matter of his flippancy about mothers in the work force (I think that it's a bad idea), but the only reason that I didn't give the book five stars is writing style.
Rating:
Summary: What a waste of paper!
Review: Someone actually recommened this pile of trash to me. The library copies had been stolen, so I bought it. It was written in 1988. It was out-of-date then. My friends, men and women, got a chuckle out of the statement that married women resented having to work. Gee, married men do, too. Also, we wondered why he thought wives should look good for their husbands, but not in reverse. The story about the rich farmer was a hoot. He was rich, but so unkempt that his wife wouldn't go near him. It took a marriage counselor to advise him to shower and brush his teeth? The book made me GLAD I'm single!
Rating:
Summary: Women Beware!
Review: Warning! The doctor gives you good basic information as far as women are more emotional and men are more physical. It was Mars and Venus all over again. Then in the second half he goes into this bit about women watching their weight. Like women don't already have enough problems with this issue! He even goes as far to recommend that a husband seperates from his wife because she won't agree to diet! He thinks if women don't make themselves attractive for their husbands, it opens the door for an affair. I think love should be more than skin deep! If you want to take advice from a selfish cave man, go ahead and read this book.
Rating: 
Summary: His Needs/Her Needs
Review: would recommend this book to anyone who is contemplating marriage, or is in a new marriage or whose marriage isn't what it used to be or anyone who genuinely would like to rescue their troubled marriage. I would even recommend it to those who wonder what really happened in their failed marriage. Not for phonies who deep-down-inside really don't want be in or stay in a committed relationship. This book basically encourages each person to (1) get very honest in identifying his needs AND her needs and (2) to find out if your mate (or prospective mate) is willing to keep doing his AND her part to fulfill those needs.
Rating:
Summary: Mandatory Marriage Material
Review: This book is a marriage resource that no couple should be without. I am part of a bible study that is reading this book as a group--all of whom have been married at least 5 years. If only we had this book from the beginning--so many disagreements and hurt feelings could have been avoided. Buy, borrow, or check out this book--if it saves you one fight it's worth it!
Rating:
Summary: His Needs, Her Needs
Review: This book was introduced to me by my wedding coordinator and then reinforced by the pastor who counseled us...and 2 people was all I needed to convince me to go out and buy it. One of the best investments I've ever made. I even use this book as a reference when something is going on in our marriage if there is a chapter that deals with our issue. I trust that if I meet his needs and he meets mine...our marriage will continue to grow as it is. I recommend this to anyone wanting a healthy marriage...I'm still a newlywed and we will keep this book until it's tattered and torn. The best!
Rating:
Summary: Required reading for any married couple
Review: I wish that I would have read this book before my marriage failed. I learned so much! There are some things that Dr. Harley is a little too restrictive on such as if your spouse doesn't do an activity then you shouldn't do it AT ALL! I think that is excessive but the overall information in the book is fabulous.
Rating:
Summary: Great book for strengthening or repairing marriages
Review: Dr. Harley hits the nail on the head in several areas. I am a pastor and this book is a great tool for those counseling marriages that need enrichment or those that are on the rocks. It also helped me identify some area's in my own marriage that needed attention. I have recogmended this book to several couples in my church. Though I may not agree with everything Dr. Harley says yet there is plenty of information and insight that he brings to the table that it cannot be overlooked. I give recogmendation to anyone looking to enrich their marraige or if their marriage is heading for divorce. If you're really serious about trying to save your marraige, I would encourage you to make the investment and buy two copies, one for you and one for your spouse and read it along the same time and discuss what you've read.
Rating:
Summary: Great resource for councelling
Review: I do marriage counselling. This is a great resource
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