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Summary: Very Informative
Review: This book was very informative and gave lots of insight into the things that can destroy a relationship. It kept me interested, which is amazing because many books seem to just fill the pages with psychobable. I also recommend Confusing Love with Obsession by John Moore in addition to this book.
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Summary: Life Changing Book
Review: This book, rather than very expensive therapy, rather than crying to my sister, my friends, to anyone who would listen, this book HELPED ME to truly understand the patterns in my relationships. PLEASE don't dump this book into the pop-psychology catagory of "Mars Venus" or "The Rules" books. This is a far more profound and intellegent book. The authors are able to be entertaining, intellegent, and real without being condescending. I dog-earred and underlined at least 1/3 of the entire book, as being important enough to review over and over again. I wish that I could personally thank the authors. This book truly helped me and has altered my approach to relationships---entering them as a grown up. Which is what making a commitment is all about.
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Summary: This book was LIFE CHANGING!!!!!!!!!
Review: This was a great book! It changed my life! I read it after getting involved with someone who admitted that they were 'commitmentphobic.' For whatever reason, even after knowing this, I still got involved. I felt drawn to this person like never before. Anyway, I was crushed when the 'relationship' suddenly changed and ended. I was left feeling very confused by their behavior, as well as by their reappearances in my life. I couldn't believe after reading this, how acurately it depicted the events that took place between my partner and me. It felt as if the authors were writing my dating biography.
Well, I now realize that my partners weren't all to blame. I kept choosing partners who weren't completely available for a long-term commitment. I longed for love, and yet kept running the other way, wanting "my space", when any relationship I was in got too 'close'-- or when it seemed like the other person wanted more than I was willing to give. Thus, unintentionally, I began to seek out persons who simply couldn't give the time or consistency to a warm, honest, and balanced relationship. You may think, like I used to, that you just haven't found "THE ONE". But trust me, if you have gone from relationship to relationship; if you or your partner suddenly have ended things and gone the other way; you have to come to realize that the issue is much deeper than it may seem. This book forces you to look at yourself in the mirror! Don't read this, if you want to continue pursuing 'fantasy partners!' Only read it if you want to GET REAL with yourself and your dating history!!! Get real..so you can get the real and committed relationship that you desire.
Also recommened: Men who can't love. ( Same authors )
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Summary: FACE those fears HEAD ON!!!!!
Review: This was a great book! It changed my life! I read it after getting involved with someone who admitted that they were afraid of commitment For whatever reason, even after knowing this, I still got involved. In spite of initial feeling of unattraction, I became drawn to this person. After over a year, I began to think that I was truly 'in love'. I was crushed when Mr. Romance himself, suddently disappeared. The close bond we shared suddenly ended. I was left feeling very confused by their behavior, as well as by their reappearances in my life. I couldn't believe after reading this book, how acurately it depicted the vicious cycle of events that were taking place between my partner and I. It felt as if the authors were writing specifically to us both. I now realize that my partners weren't all to blame. At times I choose partners who weren't completely available for a long-term commitment. I longed for love, and yet kept running the other way, when any relationship I was in got too 'close.' I, too had commitment fears; which caused me to choose partners with similar fears. Thus, I unintentionally sought out persons who were either geographically or emotionally unavailable to give the commitment that I was so afraid of. You may be in denial, thinking that you just haven't found "THE ONE". But trust me, if you have gone from relationship to relationship; if you (or your partner) suddenly ended the realtionship (without a real reason to pursue some other partner or fantasy); realize that the issue is much deeper than it may seem. This book forces you to look at yourself in the mirror! Don't read this, if you want to continue pursuing 'fantasy partners!' Only read it if you want to GET REAL with yourself and your dating history!!! Get real..so you can get the real and committed relationship that you desire. Also recommened: Men who can't love. ( Same authors )
Rating:
Summary: My Life is Changed!!
Review: This was by far the best book EVER written on this subject. My world was completely rocked within the first few pages of the book. It was like seeing my life story in print. I always knew there was something wrong with the kind of men that I kept choosing to date and eventually marry, but I had no idea what it was. After having been in a tumultuous (to say the least) relationship for the last three years, I thought it was time to understand once and for all what these men were all about. I figured by understanding them, I could avoid them in the future. What I wasn't prepared for was realizing that I too had a problem with commitment. The authors do a beautiful job of explaining that it's not just in relatioinships that this problem exists, but it permeates your entire life. Do you have a problem making decisions, do you always want a way out? It took me a while to recover from the shock, but once I did and kept on reading, I was amazed at how freeing this information was. The book described blow for blow what had happened over the last three years and I felt so much better knowing that it was not my problem, it was not that I was being rejected, it was that my partner had a problem with commitment, as did I and that's why we were drawn together. There are not enough words to describe how freeing this book has been for me. The last chapter gives wonderful information on how to finally b reak away from a commitmentphobic and how to take care of yourself while doing it. They are extremely compassionate and understand that this is a painful time for you. I can't say enough good things about this book, if you've been in too many bad relationships, I'd say that's it's a necessity to get this book.
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Summary: A MUST READ!!!!
Review: Wow. Where to begin. A friend recommended this book. I have carried it with me for the past 5 days since my breakup. I am amazed because I feel as if the book is giving a biography of my ex as well as me. Every other word I am underlining and shaking my head "yes, yes!" This book has opened my eyes to the reality that I have a commitment issue (when I thought it was only my ex). I have read lots of "self help" books- this one takes the cake. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking not only for answers and understanding, but also strength to make it through the painful process of loosing a love.
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